Havana Escaped...

Okay, so escaped might be too strong of a word, but Havana got out of her bed tonight. To be completely honest she did get down yesterday, but that was a little different than tonight. Yesterday was a hard day for both her and I. She was very disobedient and I was low on patience. When I put her down for her nap I could tell that she was going to get out simply because that is the type of day we have were having. I was right... I watched her slip off the right side of her bed and climb up on the left side. She did this about three times. I wasn't sure what to do, but decided that as long as she didn't open her door I was going to let it slide because I didn't want to open the door and have it become a game.She ended up putting herself to bed without ever trying to get out of her room.

Tonight was a different story. First let me say that today was a much better day for the both of us. It made me appreciate the truth of the promise that the Lord's mercies are new every morning. I was refreshed and Havana was obedient and sweet all day. In fact, I can't think of a time I corrected her once... which for a two year old little girl is a big deal. She was practically perfect. :) Then it came time for bedtime. We did our typical routine and I exited her room with the normal routine and conversation as always. I take Jonah into his room and begin his night time routine. I hear Havana call out for me and Jonah. Then I hear her get down and I hear her moving around in her room. Havana is very particular about her bedtime and everything in her room has to be put away and in place... I heard her messing around with where we keep her Bible and if it isn't in it's normal spot... that would bother her. So, in my head I wonder if she is putting it where it "goes" and reminded myself of my plan to only discipline her if she tries to get out of her room. Well, about 15 seconds later, I hear her door open. Before I can see her or she can see me I say in a very calm, but stern voice, "Oh no, Havana, Oh no... we do not get out of our bed." By the time I finish the sentence I can see her and I see that she is crying. Havana's normal response when getting scolded is NOT to cry. As soon as she sees me she reaches up, gives me an open mouthed kiss, and then runs and puts herself back in bed... all while crying. I think I stood in her doorway for a few seconds simply because I was so thrown off guard by what just took place. I had imagined her trying to get out of her room, carry on a conversation with me, play with Jonah, etc... I didn't really expect to see her so upset. Was she upset because I scolded her? Was she sad because I overlooked something in our nightime routine and that mean a lot to her? Did I jump to conclusions? Did she "play" me by acting sad?

Acting sad isn't her MO... she had other ways she tries to get out of trouble or handle discipline. I also know that when I put the children to bed on nights Jason is working (like tonight) it can be so hectic of a time that I might have overlooked a part of our routine that is so vital to how she has to go to sleep. I know for sure I gave her a butterfly and a eskimo kiss, but did I give her a real kiss? Why was that the one thing she wanted to do when coming out of her room? I realize it is important not to discipline or correct a child until you know the entire situation... I scolded Havana the moment she opened her door. I did so with the mindset this was her first time to try to escape out of her room and i wanted her to know this was not acceptable, but perhaps I should have showed her more grace because it isn't normal behavior for her?

After being flooded with emotion (guilt) I walk over to her where she is laying back in bed still crying. I stroke her hair and told her that it was okay and I was sorry that I had forgotten to give her a kiss. I thought about laying down in bed with her to help comfort her, but I am sure that would start a bad habit (me having to lay down with her every night and I certainly didn't want to start that... when I go to wake her up in the morning and after naps she will always say, "mama, sit please." and I always take the time to lay in bed with her and we talk about what she dreamed about and all the animals in bed with her... but I want to keep our night time routine where I simply put her in bed and leave the room.) I asked her if she was ready for me to leave and she said yes. I walked out of the room telling her I loved her. Through tears she told me she loved me too. She ended up whimpering herself to sleep. Needless to say, it was a hard night for me. I felt guilty and confused. I know her well enough to say that I'm pretty sure she did not get out of bed in an act of disobedience. Her heart was pure. I'm not sure what her motivation for getting out of bed was... was she scared? Did I miss a part of her routine that caused her distress? I'm not sure, but all I know is that I'm praying for wisdom.

I was feeling so bad about how everything transpired that I called jason at work... I told him the entire situation and he said that he would not have done anything differently and that she'll be just fine in the morning. He agreed that it seems (based on her actions) that some part of her routine was off and she needed it completed in order to go to sleep and so we are hoping this won't become a new pattern. Of course, if it does, we'll deal with it so that she will learn that she must stay in bed. But, hopefully it won't come to that. I'm thankful for my sweet girl even with how rigid she can be sometimes. I'm also thankful for my wonderful husband who is not only a great listener, but a great encourager as well!  And even though this blog post has nothing to do with Jonah or the baby in my belly... I am extremely thankful for both of them as well!