Thursdays are Speech Therapy days for Havana! In all cognitive, social, and motor skills Havana is either in her age range or above average, but her speech is so delayed she has the verbal communication of a 6-9 month old. That really breaks my heart. Granted, she is GREAT at communicating with us through the use of sign language and the fact that we understand her grunts and such. But, when they actually put a number on it (6-9 months) it makes my heart sad to think of her having such a delay. I wonder how much of her heart she can't share with us. If you ask her to point to a certain object either on herself or in a book - she can do that - so she knows things, but can't express things to us. Sometimes I just want to cry. However, we are doing all we can with her and have seen lots of improvements in just the past month. Anyway, I was a little nervous about this meeting - only her second with our speech therapist down here (who is awesome!) and just because of how sad I get when I think that Havana actually has to have therapy. Well, the Lord was amazing today and really encouraged my heart through our speech therapy session!
Our therapist, Elizabeth, is AMAZING! She was so encouraging towards me with Havana and even called me a "dream mom" and she said she could tell a difference in Havana since last week based on some of the things we were working on with her. She was also very complimentary of Havana (and Jonah too!). Havana warmed right up to her and loved spending an hour playing with her. She was even putting several signs together in order to communicate in a sentence and was making sounds when prompted by the end of the session. Elizabeth certainly has a way with Havana... and with me... she is very good and so encouraging that I was left feeling confident instead of sad. I think I'll look forward to Thursdays now.
Per Elizabeth's advice from last week, we've started doing "Mat Time" twice a day with Havana. This is supposed to help her attention span. We bought a Dora area rug and twice a day I tell her it is time for "Mat time" so she sits on her mat with her back to the wall and then I pick out a toy that she has to play with for three minutes. By the end of the three minutes, she is usually crying trying to get past me to play with something else, but I make her sit back down and play with the one toy or book I had picked out. Hopefully soon we can start increasing it to five minutes or so per toy. But, in today's therapy session, she did sit and play with the puzzles that Elizabeth had much better than she did last week, so I guess it is working.
That was the main excitement of today. I was able to sleep in until 10am - that is when Jason and Havana woke me up with breakfast in bed. So sweet... and humbling. Every since we have had Jonah, Jason gets up every morning with havana (she usually wakes up around 8:30). However, for the past three weeks, Jonah has been sleeping through the night so I don't really have any excuse for not getting up with havana, but Jason still willingly get up with her and then I just wake up when Jonah needs to eat (usually between 9-10am). Before Jonah was born, I was always the one to wake up with H and if Jason slept in a lot, I would find myself a little grumpy at him for it. If I ever asked him to get her up - he would certainly do so - but if I didn't, I would just get her up and them play with her until he woke up and would silently be upset that he always got to sleep in. And yet, here is my husband, on week 9 of working outside the home AND waking up with havana (last night he got home from work around 2:30am) and instead of being resentful towards me for sleeping in - he makes me breakfast in bed! What an example of Christ for me... I am going to do my best to remember this day and try and start letting him sleep in and instead of wondering "how long is daddy going to sleep?" I'll say, "I hope he sleeps a long time, he deserves it."
Personally, I know I sometimes try to play a "martyr" role. It is something I have to watch with myself because that is a personality trait that I DO NOT want... I'll say things like "I have to do everything." That's why I would get so upset with Jason for sleeping in, I would think I had to ALWAYS get up in the morning and do EVERYTHING. Which is not true, he helps out more than most husbands, but that martyr syndrome comes into play. Jason doesn't have that in him at all. So to see the way he handles me sleeping in every morning (responding in love and with breakfast in bed) is clearly and example of the personality traits that I DO want in my life. I'm thankful for a husband who loves Jesus so much that is helps him love me so well!
Moving on...
Jason loved the Monkey bathroom theme I picked out! I love that we have toys and juvenile things all over the house. I'm so happy being a mommy. We bought a Picnic Table today for havana - now she has a place to color and play as well as room for friends to sit with her for lunch or dinner. We're having two different play dates tomorrow - one at the science museum in the AM and then some friends coming over for dinner. So, best be going to bed so I can be rested and ready to go in the AM. This is the 2nd night in a row Jonah was asleep by 9pm -- would LOVE that to be his new bedtime!!!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Interesting Day...
Jonah has acid reflux and projectile pukes A LOT... seriously, I've never seen a kid with this kind of distance. Anyway, he was on a roll today causing me to shower and change my clothes twice, give him a bath twice, and clean the bathroom from top to bottom all by 9am! Fun morning! :)
I took the kids and met a friend and her children at a storytime in Louisville. We were home in time to have a family dinner with jason before he had to leave for work. This afternoon, while both children were napping, I was upstairs with our dog. I all of a sudden hear our door alarm. Everytime a door opens in our house the alarm system says, "Fault: Back Door Open." (or whichever door opens it names). It took me a minute to realize that Jason was at work and Havana was asleep. Someone opened our back door! I freeze, but then call jason and whisper to him the situation asking what I should do. He said to take Tucker, our dog, downstairs and see what is going on. On my way downstairs I tried to find one of Jason's baseball bats - in our other homes he always kept at least one under the bed, but apparently not in this house. So, I grab the swiffer duster that I had on the dresser from my morning clean. Okay, in hindsight I realize that was a pretty pathetic thing to grab - couldn't I have at least grabbed some scissors?! Anyway, Swiffer in hand I go down the stairs - still on the phone and with my trusted guard dog BEHIND me. All is calm, but the back door is wide open! I search all the rooms downstairs and come to the conclusion that the wind must have blown the door open. I'm still not super convinced how, but I don't think anyone was in our house, at least that is what I keep telling myself.
My mother-in-law came over for a little bit after Havana's nap time and after she left I bundled up the kids and went to Target. My goal was to buy things for the children's bathroom. Decorating our new house has become somewhat stressful for me -- I want a house that looks amazing. I also know that I have two children under the age of two and hopefully more to follow and so having "nice" things really isn't a good option for us seeing as we would just have to hide them for the next few years. Plus, I wonder where to start when it comes to decorating. I don't know what colors or syles I like.
Havana's room is complete (we still need to paint it, but we have her theme and know the paint color) and the nursery is also complete (again just need paint, but we know what we want to do). The other upstairs bedroom is currently a play room (it will become Jonah's room once he outgrows the nursery) and so I'm content to leave the walls tan and hang primary color paintings and such in there until we convert it to Jonah's room. So, I decided I could go on and pick out a theme for their bathroom to make it a little more fun for them and then when we go to paint next month we'll know what color we want for their bathroom. I ended up going with a monkey them and I think it is so cute! I got the basics: shower curtain and curtain hooks, matching towel sets, soap dispensers, and a toothbrush holder. But then I also got a really cute, rather large, monkey rug! I was pretty proud of myself. I found online matching monkey wall decals and so I'll order those and put those up after we paint. Anyway, I figure that will be good for their bathroom for the next few years at least.
On my drive home I thought about how there weren't that many people at Target for a Friday night. Then it hit me... today is Wednesday. I've been thinking it was Friday all day and I'm pretty sure I thanked my mother-in-law for driving over in the Friday traffic. Hm... guess my mind really isn't what it used to be.
Then, in keeping with the interesting day theme, I received a text today. From a number I didn't recognize with an 870 area code (after googling that I found out that is a AK area code). It said, "I will c u tomorrow." Hm, perhaps that is the same person who opened my back door?! I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out! Ha.
Normally Jonah doesn't fall asleep until close to 11pm, but tonight he fell asleep before 9pm - and Havana goes to bed by 8pm. So I've enjoyed a quiet evening in the house by myself. I put all the new things in the "Youth Bathroom" as I call it. Now, I guess I'm going to look online for a new comforter set for our master bedroom in hopes of coming up with our color and theme for our room. Ugh, have I mentioned how stressful this is for me?! Fun, but also overwhelming. :)
I took the kids and met a friend and her children at a storytime in Louisville. We were home in time to have a family dinner with jason before he had to leave for work. This afternoon, while both children were napping, I was upstairs with our dog. I all of a sudden hear our door alarm. Everytime a door opens in our house the alarm system says, "Fault: Back Door Open." (or whichever door opens it names). It took me a minute to realize that Jason was at work and Havana was asleep. Someone opened our back door! I freeze, but then call jason and whisper to him the situation asking what I should do. He said to take Tucker, our dog, downstairs and see what is going on. On my way downstairs I tried to find one of Jason's baseball bats - in our other homes he always kept at least one under the bed, but apparently not in this house. So, I grab the swiffer duster that I had on the dresser from my morning clean. Okay, in hindsight I realize that was a pretty pathetic thing to grab - couldn't I have at least grabbed some scissors?! Anyway, Swiffer in hand I go down the stairs - still on the phone and with my trusted guard dog BEHIND me. All is calm, but the back door is wide open! I search all the rooms downstairs and come to the conclusion that the wind must have blown the door open. I'm still not super convinced how, but I don't think anyone was in our house, at least that is what I keep telling myself.
My mother-in-law came over for a little bit after Havana's nap time and after she left I bundled up the kids and went to Target. My goal was to buy things for the children's bathroom. Decorating our new house has become somewhat stressful for me -- I want a house that looks amazing. I also know that I have two children under the age of two and hopefully more to follow and so having "nice" things really isn't a good option for us seeing as we would just have to hide them for the next few years. Plus, I wonder where to start when it comes to decorating. I don't know what colors or syles I like.
Havana's room is complete (we still need to paint it, but we have her theme and know the paint color) and the nursery is also complete (again just need paint, but we know what we want to do). The other upstairs bedroom is currently a play room (it will become Jonah's room once he outgrows the nursery) and so I'm content to leave the walls tan and hang primary color paintings and such in there until we convert it to Jonah's room. So, I decided I could go on and pick out a theme for their bathroom to make it a little more fun for them and then when we go to paint next month we'll know what color we want for their bathroom. I ended up going with a monkey them and I think it is so cute! I got the basics: shower curtain and curtain hooks, matching towel sets, soap dispensers, and a toothbrush holder. But then I also got a really cute, rather large, monkey rug! I was pretty proud of myself. I found online matching monkey wall decals and so I'll order those and put those up after we paint. Anyway, I figure that will be good for their bathroom for the next few years at least.
On my drive home I thought about how there weren't that many people at Target for a Friday night. Then it hit me... today is Wednesday. I've been thinking it was Friday all day and I'm pretty sure I thanked my mother-in-law for driving over in the Friday traffic. Hm... guess my mind really isn't what it used to be.
Then, in keeping with the interesting day theme, I received a text today. From a number I didn't recognize with an 870 area code (after googling that I found out that is a AK area code). It said, "I will c u tomorrow." Hm, perhaps that is the same person who opened my back door?! I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out! Ha.
Normally Jonah doesn't fall asleep until close to 11pm, but tonight he fell asleep before 9pm - and Havana goes to bed by 8pm. So I've enjoyed a quiet evening in the house by myself. I put all the new things in the "Youth Bathroom" as I call it. Now, I guess I'm going to look online for a new comforter set for our master bedroom in hopes of coming up with our color and theme for our room. Ugh, have I mentioned how stressful this is for me?! Fun, but also overwhelming. :)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Blogging...
Okay, so deep down inside, I want to be better at this whole blogging thing. I enjoy reading other's blogs so much, but then when it comes time for me to type something - I don't feel like I have any thoughts that are really entertaining or enjoyable for others to read. I used to be an incredible at journaling. I would write in my journal every night for years with specific, detailed about what I did that day. Of course, those journals weren't published on the internet for all to read so I didn't really think about the thoughts I was writing down. Over the past few years I have become quite horrible at journaling and I'm realizing that while at one time I had an incredible memory - that is quickly fading with age. So... I want my blog to be my online journal. That way I have a way to write down special memories I might forget and I get in the habit of posting more on my blog... I do know that my day to day life and my thought life really aren't going to be interesting to very many people, but what the heck, I'm going to type and post anyway.
Something that has spurred this on is Havana. She does things each day that I think are so funny and cute and yet by the next day it seems I can't recall what she did that was so funny. I don't want to miss the opportunity to type those special moments out in order to help me remember and track her growth. This morning I was folding laundry and she was "helping" -- of course, by helping I mean that she was undoing everything I had done and making the task take three times as long, but I love every minute of it. :). Anyway, I shook a shirt to get the wrinkles out and I look over and Havana stops playing with the shirt she was trying to put on(and by trying to put on I mean wearing as a hat) and shakes it out and then tries to put it on again. It is funny the things they notice.
Both Havana and Jonah are so much fun to watch. She has started giving Jonah kisses a lot and he has started "talking" and laughing so much. It is fun to see what things make him laugh.
Since this blog post isn't going to just be about the kids like the normal monthly update (remember I'm trying to get better at blogging and not just more frequent posts of the same thing...) I'll move on.
I had a pretty good day today. On days Jason is home in the morning he always takes care of Havana so I can sleep in. Today was one of those mornings and it is really refreshing to wake up on my own rather than a child waking me up!
I will admit that over the past few days I've been acting very "girly." I have not liked anything about my appearance lately... I really hate when I get like this... I feel as if I'm looking old! I don't like my hair, nails, glasses, clothes, etc. In fact, the other day I tried on all my clothes and literally donated anything that I put that didn't make me feel pretty when I wore it. Let's just say I have A LOT of room in my closet now. Ha.
Jason always deals with me so well when I get like this. I am lucky to be married to a man that I KNOW, without a doubt, that he thinks I'm the most beautiful person in the world. I love that. The other day I said to him, "Before I had Jonah I was a size 4. Now I'm a size 8. You know what that means, right?" (I was meaning to imply that I'm going to need to buy new clothes) - however his response was a sincere, "Oh, so that explains why you are so beautiful." He's sweet. He also made me laugh yesterday because I was able to get my eyebrows waxed - a much needed task - and I was going through all the things I didn't like about my appearance and he said, "But, you like your eyebrows, right? I mean you have to like those - we just paid for them." :) I did laugh to that!
I love laughing. My favorite is the big belly laugh where I can't breath and end up with not only hurting sides, but a case of the hiccups. You know I've enjoyed myself if I hiccup after laughing. :) Jason makes me laugh pretty much all the time - even when I'm upset with him. Last week we were on each other's nerves (well, he was on mine and I'm assuming I was on his as well...) and we were in our bathroom brushing our teeth and he said something that annoyed me and so I snapped, "well, I'm glad we are friends tonight." He said, "Oh, me too! I'm feeling very friendly. I like being friends." His tone was playful and it made me laugh. :) He's a funny man and I love that when we're in our 80s, he'll still be making me laugh! Yay for belly laughter.
How's that for a different post?
Something that has spurred this on is Havana. She does things each day that I think are so funny and cute and yet by the next day it seems I can't recall what she did that was so funny. I don't want to miss the opportunity to type those special moments out in order to help me remember and track her growth. This morning I was folding laundry and she was "helping" -- of course, by helping I mean that she was undoing everything I had done and making the task take three times as long, but I love every minute of it. :). Anyway, I shook a shirt to get the wrinkles out and I look over and Havana stops playing with the shirt she was trying to put on(and by trying to put on I mean wearing as a hat) and shakes it out and then tries to put it on again. It is funny the things they notice.
Both Havana and Jonah are so much fun to watch. She has started giving Jonah kisses a lot and he has started "talking" and laughing so much. It is fun to see what things make him laugh.
Since this blog post isn't going to just be about the kids like the normal monthly update (remember I'm trying to get better at blogging and not just more frequent posts of the same thing...) I'll move on.
I had a pretty good day today. On days Jason is home in the morning he always takes care of Havana so I can sleep in. Today was one of those mornings and it is really refreshing to wake up on my own rather than a child waking me up!
I will admit that over the past few days I've been acting very "girly." I have not liked anything about my appearance lately... I really hate when I get like this... I feel as if I'm looking old! I don't like my hair, nails, glasses, clothes, etc. In fact, the other day I tried on all my clothes and literally donated anything that I put that didn't make me feel pretty when I wore it. Let's just say I have A LOT of room in my closet now. Ha.
Jason always deals with me so well when I get like this. I am lucky to be married to a man that I KNOW, without a doubt, that he thinks I'm the most beautiful person in the world. I love that. The other day I said to him, "Before I had Jonah I was a size 4. Now I'm a size 8. You know what that means, right?" (I was meaning to imply that I'm going to need to buy new clothes) - however his response was a sincere, "Oh, so that explains why you are so beautiful." He's sweet. He also made me laugh yesterday because I was able to get my eyebrows waxed - a much needed task - and I was going through all the things I didn't like about my appearance and he said, "But, you like your eyebrows, right? I mean you have to like those - we just paid for them." :) I did laugh to that!
I love laughing. My favorite is the big belly laugh where I can't breath and end up with not only hurting sides, but a case of the hiccups. You know I've enjoyed myself if I hiccup after laughing. :) Jason makes me laugh pretty much all the time - even when I'm upset with him. Last week we were on each other's nerves (well, he was on mine and I'm assuming I was on his as well...) and we were in our bathroom brushing our teeth and he said something that annoyed me and so I snapped, "well, I'm glad we are friends tonight." He said, "Oh, me too! I'm feeling very friendly. I like being friends." His tone was playful and it made me laugh. :) He's a funny man and I love that when we're in our 80s, he'll still be making me laugh! Yay for belly laughter.
How's that for a different post?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Proposal Story
In honor our of the anniversary of the day Jason proposed to me (June 26th)... I thought I would take a stroll down memory lane and post the story of his proposal.
Jason's summer break between his 2nd and 3rd year of medical school was coming to a close. He was to start back on Monday, June 28th. As we were making plans for his last weekend of "freedom" Jason said, "how about I plan the date for Friday night and you can plan the date of Saturday night." I agreed and wondered to myself if Friday night would be the night he would propose to me. I knew Jason wanted to marry me, but I didn't know when he was thinking would be a good time (during or after medical school). If he wanted to get married while he was still in medical school - then a proposal had to be coming soon.... :)
Friday, June 25th:
We spend the day in the pool at my apartment complex with several friends. By the time everyone left, I was not feeling very well at my. My body was killing me from my MS. I told Jason I was going to get ready for our date. He kept saying we didn't have to go out since I was feeling so poorly, but wanting to see what he had planned (and if there was going to be a proposal...) I said I felt okay enough to go out. However, as I continued to get ready, I broke down and started crying from the pain. Jason came into the room and said we really didn't have to go out. I again told him I wanted to go. He responded with, "why don't we just rent a movie and get take out? I don't have anything special planned anyway." And with that, my heart sank, there would be no proposal anytime soon. So, I resolved to just renting a movie and taking it easy.
Saturday, June 26th:
I woke up feeling better and drove over to Jason's apartment in the late morning. He was in a Saturday Morning Bible study with a group of guys and so I waited for him to return from that. We hung out for a little bit and then he asked what the plans were for the evening since it was my turn to plan the date. I told him to pick me up at my place around 4pm. He did so. I was wearing a little sun dress - he was wearing khaki pants and a nice top. We went to the movies where we watch the romantic movie "The Notebook." After it was over, we went to dinner at Martinis in the Summit. It was a beautiful summer evening and we were able to eat dinner outside. After dinner, Jason suggested we get dessert at the chocolate shop next door. We got 6 chocolate covered strawberries to go. As we were driving back towards my apartment and Jason said, "it is really such a pretty night; would you want to go to a park and walk around?" I said sure. We drove to Papa John's Park - which we had nicknamed "our park" since we went there together A LOT. Often times just to relax and have a picnic lunch, but a few times when we were in a serious argument we would go there and not leave until we had things resolved. We had lots of memories at that park. We took a nice stroll enjoying the beautiful evening hand-in-hand and eating our strawberries.
On our way out of the park, Jason misses the turn for the highway. I asked him where we are going and he said he really had to go the bathroom. To be honest, we had just returned less than a week earlier from a mission trip down to Cuba and Jason's stomach had been acting up since that trip. We pass by two gas stations so I ask again where we are going. He said, "To church." I question him in why he didn't just stop at the gas stations and he said, "because the bathrooms at church are cleaner." I looked at him funny because I am picky and never use public bathrooms, but Jason is not one who cares about that sort of thing. Then I pointed out that the church would probably be locked seeing as it was already after 10pm. He convinced me it would be open despite my doubts. To my surprise it was open and I asked if he wanted me to wait in the car - he said, "no, it might be a while, just come on in." So I went in. There was a security guard sitting at the desk and so I start talking to him while Jason goes to the bathroom. I told him how confused I was that Jason was going to the bathroom at the church this late at night and he responded with, "oh don't worry about it - people do it all the time." Jason finally came out and as we started to head back to the car Jason stopped and asked if I wanted to do our devotion there. That wasn't an uncommon request - we usually did a devotion together everyday and we loved to do them in different places. So, Jason gets out a Bible and he reads to me from Ezekiel and we talked about the passage. Again, nothing uncommon. Then, he flips the Bible to the Ephesians 5 passage about marriage and reads that out loud. Then he walks a few steps, grabs a hidden guitar, and starts playing a song that I had heard him play for several months - a song he had written. However, instead of just playing the chords like he had done in the past... he starts singing,
"If I could take away all your pain
If I could make you feel all brand new inside
If I could wipe away your tears
And help you forget all of the times you’ve cried
You know I would
You know I would
You know I would
For you, I would
If I could live my life with you
We’d serve the Lord in all the things that we do
If I could reach the lost with you
And teach them all about God’s Love and his Truth.
You know I would
You know I would
You know I would
For you, I would
And I’ve dreamed of this day
For such a long, long time
But Darby, I never dreamed
That YOU could be mine.
And I’m so thankful just to have you in my life.
I’m so very thankful just for you.
So if I asked you to be my bride
And if I asked you to stand by my side.
And if I got down on my knee (which he did during this line!)
And if I asked you, “Will you marry me?” ………………..
And with that he stopped singing and playing and waited for my response. I hesitated just a moment, not out of fear, but because I didn't want to interrupt his song - he finally said, "well?" I smiled and said, "YES." He stood up and said, "good. Then you can have this." and with that he handed me a small velvet box. I opened it up and saw my beautiful engagement ring! I had made sure not to tell Jason what I wanted in a ring, but if I had told him everything I wanted - this ring would be it. It was perfect! From the shape of the main diamond to the diamonds all around the sides to the unique engravings on the band... perfect. I put it on and that is when I realized that Jason proposed to me at the very spot where we had met at Southeast Christian Church on January 22, 2002. What a perfect place to propose since our faith was the foundation of our relationship!
We were married six month later at the same church where Jason sang me another song... but perhaps I'll write more about that story in another post. :)
Jason's summer break between his 2nd and 3rd year of medical school was coming to a close. He was to start back on Monday, June 28th. As we were making plans for his last weekend of "freedom" Jason said, "how about I plan the date for Friday night and you can plan the date of Saturday night." I agreed and wondered to myself if Friday night would be the night he would propose to me. I knew Jason wanted to marry me, but I didn't know when he was thinking would be a good time (during or after medical school). If he wanted to get married while he was still in medical school - then a proposal had to be coming soon.... :)
Friday, June 25th:
We spend the day in the pool at my apartment complex with several friends. By the time everyone left, I was not feeling very well at my. My body was killing me from my MS. I told Jason I was going to get ready for our date. He kept saying we didn't have to go out since I was feeling so poorly, but wanting to see what he had planned (and if there was going to be a proposal...) I said I felt okay enough to go out. However, as I continued to get ready, I broke down and started crying from the pain. Jason came into the room and said we really didn't have to go out. I again told him I wanted to go. He responded with, "why don't we just rent a movie and get take out? I don't have anything special planned anyway." And with that, my heart sank, there would be no proposal anytime soon. So, I resolved to just renting a movie and taking it easy.
Saturday, June 26th:
I woke up feeling better and drove over to Jason's apartment in the late morning. He was in a Saturday Morning Bible study with a group of guys and so I waited for him to return from that. We hung out for a little bit and then he asked what the plans were for the evening since it was my turn to plan the date. I told him to pick me up at my place around 4pm. He did so. I was wearing a little sun dress - he was wearing khaki pants and a nice top. We went to the movies where we watch the romantic movie "The Notebook." After it was over, we went to dinner at Martinis in the Summit. It was a beautiful summer evening and we were able to eat dinner outside. After dinner, Jason suggested we get dessert at the chocolate shop next door. We got 6 chocolate covered strawberries to go. As we were driving back towards my apartment and Jason said, "it is really such a pretty night; would you want to go to a park and walk around?" I said sure. We drove to Papa John's Park - which we had nicknamed "our park" since we went there together A LOT. Often times just to relax and have a picnic lunch, but a few times when we were in a serious argument we would go there and not leave until we had things resolved. We had lots of memories at that park. We took a nice stroll enjoying the beautiful evening hand-in-hand and eating our strawberries.
On our way out of the park, Jason misses the turn for the highway. I asked him where we are going and he said he really had to go the bathroom. To be honest, we had just returned less than a week earlier from a mission trip down to Cuba and Jason's stomach had been acting up since that trip. We pass by two gas stations so I ask again where we are going. He said, "To church." I question him in why he didn't just stop at the gas stations and he said, "because the bathrooms at church are cleaner." I looked at him funny because I am picky and never use public bathrooms, but Jason is not one who cares about that sort of thing. Then I pointed out that the church would probably be locked seeing as it was already after 10pm. He convinced me it would be open despite my doubts. To my surprise it was open and I asked if he wanted me to wait in the car - he said, "no, it might be a while, just come on in." So I went in. There was a security guard sitting at the desk and so I start talking to him while Jason goes to the bathroom. I told him how confused I was that Jason was going to the bathroom at the church this late at night and he responded with, "oh don't worry about it - people do it all the time." Jason finally came out and as we started to head back to the car Jason stopped and asked if I wanted to do our devotion there. That wasn't an uncommon request - we usually did a devotion together everyday and we loved to do them in different places. So, Jason gets out a Bible and he reads to me from Ezekiel and we talked about the passage. Again, nothing uncommon. Then, he flips the Bible to the Ephesians 5 passage about marriage and reads that out loud. Then he walks a few steps, grabs a hidden guitar, and starts playing a song that I had heard him play for several months - a song he had written. However, instead of just playing the chords like he had done in the past... he starts singing,
"If I could take away all your pain
If I could make you feel all brand new inside
If I could wipe away your tears
And help you forget all of the times you’ve cried
You know I would
You know I would
You know I would
For you, I would
If I could live my life with you
We’d serve the Lord in all the things that we do
If I could reach the lost with you
And teach them all about God’s Love and his Truth.
You know I would
You know I would
You know I would
For you, I would
And I’ve dreamed of this day
For such a long, long time
But Darby, I never dreamed
That YOU could be mine.
And I’m so thankful just to have you in my life.
I’m so very thankful just for you.
So if I asked you to be my bride
And if I asked you to stand by my side.
And if I got down on my knee (which he did during this line!)
And if I asked you, “Will you marry me?” ………………..
And with that he stopped singing and playing and waited for my response. I hesitated just a moment, not out of fear, but because I didn't want to interrupt his song - he finally said, "well?" I smiled and said, "YES." He stood up and said, "good. Then you can have this." and with that he handed me a small velvet box. I opened it up and saw my beautiful engagement ring! I had made sure not to tell Jason what I wanted in a ring, but if I had told him everything I wanted - this ring would be it. It was perfect! From the shape of the main diamond to the diamonds all around the sides to the unique engravings on the band... perfect. I put it on and that is when I realized that Jason proposed to me at the very spot where we had met at Southeast Christian Church on January 22, 2002. What a perfect place to propose since our faith was the foundation of our relationship!
We were married six month later at the same church where Jason sang me another song... but perhaps I'll write more about that story in another post. :)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
May and June update...
The month of May brought a lot of changes to our family. The first being in the form of our wonderful son, Jonah Abraham, who was born on May 3. While is birth was easier and just as pain free as my delivery with Havana - he had some complications after birth that were a little scary for us. Because of how quickly he came out (5 minutes) he swallowed a lot of fluids on the way out; which led to him choking a lot his first 48 hours or so. His face was also extremely swollen and bruised from the birth. This was not the case with Havana and so to see him like that was both scary and sad. While I know it is pretty normal, as a mom, I still hated seeing him like that. They warned us early on that he might become jaundice because of the bruising. Well, they were right. His billirubin levels kept going up. It was actually quite scary - when he was 24 hours old, they took Jonah in the to do his circumcision and they brought him back a while later hooked to a heart and lung monitor and hooked to a billiblanket. Jason was back at home taking care of Havana at this point and so I was by myself trying to wrap my mind around all these machines. The monitor was because he choked during the circumcision and ended up turning blue. The billiblanket was for his jaundice. Listening to the machines and seeing him hooked up to those things was very painful for me.
The next day the doctor kept saying she was sure that his levels would go back down, but instead, they kept rising. By the time we left they were at a level where they told us we actually couldn't leave the hospital, but that he needed to be transferred to the NICU. Again, I know jaundice is pretty common, but I still hated hearing those words. I also hated the thought of not going home. It was Wednesday evening by this point - I missed Havana horribly and really wanted us to go home and start adjusting to life at home. However, we knew that we needed to do whatever was best for Jonah. They went back and forth for hours, literally, on if they would let us go home or admit him to the NICU. Havana and Jason had come to pick us up and so poor Havana had waited for hours in the little hospital room with us. Finally, at 10pm, they said because his weight gain was appropriate, we could go home. We left and rushed home (a 45 minute drive) only to return the next day at 9am to get another draw to check his billirubin. That draw showed his levels going down and we were instructed to leave him on the blanket for the next week and to feed him every 2 hours - even through the night - at whenever he demanded it. It was somewhat of a pain to feed him on demand and have him constantly hooked up to the blanket (and thus near an outlet), but it was a small sacrifice to make in order to make sure he was healthy.
Once we were home, it was nice to start adjusting to life as a family of four! The transition went quite smoothly, Praise God! My body healed up rather quickly and breast feeding went a lot smoother than last time and so chasing after an 18 month old and taking care of a new born just seemed very natural. Jason, as always, was a HUGE help - being largely responsible for Havana's care while I tended to Jonah and he would help me in the middle of the night by changing Jonah's diapers before I would feed him. I went to the doctors office by myself with just Jonah when Jonah was three days old and the secretary said I looked very rested for a mom of a new born and I quickly responded that I had a good husband who helps me out a lot. That was met with a lot of "awwws" by the office staff, but it is the truth. Jason has always gone above and beyond in his role as husband and father. :)
Havana is an incredible big sister. She loves Jonah and is very attentive to his needs (sometimes too attentive, but her motives are always pure :). It has been a joy to watch her learn how to be gentle and to share her toys with him. She never had a struggle with jealousy and she loved having a friend who rides with her in the car and stroller. To say I'm impressed with her would be an understatement.
Even Tucker has adjusted well to the new addition. When we brought Havana home, Tucker was sad for several days. However, bringing Jonah home didn't seem to phase Tucker much at all.
The other big change for our family was our move! When Jonah was three weeks old we moved from Indianapolis back to the Louisville area. It has been a breath of fresh air to be back! While there were parts of and people in Indianapolis that I absolutely LOVED - I never realized how it never felt like home to me until I moved back. I laugh and say I feel like I'm on vacation with how relaxed and happy I am! It is very natural to be back. Just driving around the city makes me smile, I'm home! That is really funny coming from a girl who moved to Louisville Kicking and Screaming and who wanted to move away as quickly as possible. Funny how things change...
I forgot how Louisville is really just a big, small town... I have enjoyed running into people I know anytime I stop somewhere - be it the zoo or the grocery. It is very nice for Jason and I to be back at our home church as well and seeing our old friends! We love our new neighborhood and our neighbors! We live in a very social neighborhood and pretty much every night everyone goes outside to talk with each other. Everyone has been very nice and pretty much everyone has offered to babysit. :) Our new home has a playground in the back yard which is a big hit with havana! We also have a neighborhood pool and some walking trails which have already provided our family with lots of fun!
The unpacking process is going pretty slowly since our days are spent playing with two children. By the time they go to sleep, we are ready to go to sleep as well. But little by little we are getting things accomplished. After we unpack, our next project will be decorating - we are hoping to get lots of new furniture and then from there to pick paint colors that we feel will make this house our home. The basement is completely unfinished and while we are setting up a workout area and a scrapbooking area down there now - eventually we will want to finish it. We are also enjoying planning our landscaping and what we want to do with our lawn. It has been fun and refreshing!
Right now Jonah is six weeks old and Havana is almost 20 months old. Jonah is doing pretty well, he is a HUGE boy... he is over 13 pounds and getting bigger every day. He has adapted to a three hour eating scheduel and the cycles of eating/awake time/sleep time. His night time sleep is just now stretching to longer hours so he is only waking up once a night these days and usually sleeps in until about 9am. He loves to snuggle and he is very endearing. He is overall a pretty content little boy who we are crazy about!
Havana is growing a lot these days too! She is a very tall girl - in the nursery at church she is by far the tallest one in the room. At storytime the other day she was standing next to a few three year olds and she was taller than both of them. I would say my husband marked both of my children with his "giant genes"! :) Havana is so much fun to play with and I LOVE watching her use her imagination. Her doll house and her little family are her favorite toys these days. She is a silly little girl who loves to giggle and she has such a tender heart. Jason and I have agreed we want to foster that in her - just allowing her to be a silly little girl and encouraging her tenderness. She loves to give hugs - even to pictures in the books we read to her - so we always tell her how sweet she is to hug the bird on the page. :)
She is making improvements with her language development. She is now saying "go" and "notebook" and a few other words as well as many animal sounds! She has increased her signs and now has a sign for pretty much everything including baby Jonah! :) We are going to continue to have her go to speech therapy down here, but most likely won't start that until July.
Our biggest challenge with her right now is the fact that she enjoys pulling Tucker's tail. We are learning what styles of discipline work best with her personality. We are doing a better job these days are remembering the big picture - thinking back to how HARD February was for us in terms of our battles with Havana over what she would eat for dinner. However, now she eats whatever I put in front of her without any objections. I sometimes laugh when I think that used to be a struggle and how now it isn't. That helps us not feel so overwhelmed when thinking about a certain struggle we are having with her - knowing that if we are consistent, she will learn what is expected of her and why and will soon adapt her behaviors accordingly. Then we'll move onto another challenge, but rejoicing in each victory we have with her. We are so grateful and humbled at the chance to parent her and raise her up to know and love Jesus.
Jason and I have spent lots of time praying for our children - their future spouses, their future lives, their faith. We also pray for present day things like Jonah's sleep patterns and for Havana with her speech development and her ever present separation anxiety... however, the other day I realized that I wanted to also pray for them just to be fun loving children who are sheltered from the cruel realities of this world for as long as possible. I just want them to dance through this world. I think about Havana and how wonderful her little life is - she wakes up to a mommy and daddy who are happy to see her. We eat, play, and laugh pretty much all day. Jason and I have encouraged her to have small moments of "individual play time" but for the most part, our days are just playing games and reading books to Havana. We save the house work and paper work for times when she is sleeping. As she and Jonah continue to grow and as we add other children to our family (hopefully) we want to make sure to keep that our priority. We don't want them to think they are the center of the world or that they can tell us what we will be doing that day, but we want them to know that playing with them is more important that doing the dishes and that family time is important to us all.
I have always been involved in ministries since I've become a Christian. Being very active in my church has always been at the core of who I am. However, as we are starting to add more children to our family, I'm starting to grasp the concept of stepping back. While there are still a few certain things I'll want to be involved it, I can no longer balance the many ministries I've been involved in and juggling two children. This was somewhat painful for me to fully accept at first. However, I started thinking about the Great Commission where Jesus tells us to, "...go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you...
(Matthew 28:19-20). As I sat and pondered that, I came to embrace that for right now, I am commissioned to make disciples out of Havana and Jonah. They are my Great Commission and that is not a role or ministry I should take lightly or view as 2nd rate. That is my priority when it comes to living out the Great Commission even though it will look very different than leading ministries, mission trips, and Bible studies. As I told Jason my thoughts on this he agreed and added that through their lives, they can reach more people for Christ than I could alone, so investing in teaching them God's truths is by far my greatest responsibility and ministerial role. That really makes changing diapers become a lot more significant.
Jason and I continue to do well in our marriage. I am truly so blessed to be married to such an amazing man! Perhaps that is one of the reasons I love being back in Louisville so much - I drive down the road and everything seems to have a connection to Jason and when we first started dating - our love story. :) We've been married 5.5 years now and have learned so much through the years. We've always been good about reading the Bible and praying together regularly, but we just started something new where we are memorizing Scripture together each week as well. While that is something we have both done individually in the past or together for a certain verse occasionally that can be applied to a trial we are facing - we've never made a habit of doing it together each week. We're excited for how the Lord will teach us more about Himself while we add that discipline to our lives.
The other day I was upstairs holding Jonah and I walked into Havana's room and she was singing and dancing. We looked at each other, smiled huge smiles at each other and both started laughing. The love that I feel for my family is overwhelming at times, but I sat there looking at my carefree, beautiful daughter and I was holding my handsome, content son - and I was humbled with my wonderful family - I am certainly blessed beyond what I deserve. My husband is incredible and my children are amazing. They are more than I deserve, but I'm incredibly thankful and try daily not to take a single minute of my life for granted. Life can be messy, but God is so good! Praying that you all relish in His faithfulness too!
The next day the doctor kept saying she was sure that his levels would go back down, but instead, they kept rising. By the time we left they were at a level where they told us we actually couldn't leave the hospital, but that he needed to be transferred to the NICU. Again, I know jaundice is pretty common, but I still hated hearing those words. I also hated the thought of not going home. It was Wednesday evening by this point - I missed Havana horribly and really wanted us to go home and start adjusting to life at home. However, we knew that we needed to do whatever was best for Jonah. They went back and forth for hours, literally, on if they would let us go home or admit him to the NICU. Havana and Jason had come to pick us up and so poor Havana had waited for hours in the little hospital room with us. Finally, at 10pm, they said because his weight gain was appropriate, we could go home. We left and rushed home (a 45 minute drive) only to return the next day at 9am to get another draw to check his billirubin. That draw showed his levels going down and we were instructed to leave him on the blanket for the next week and to feed him every 2 hours - even through the night - at whenever he demanded it. It was somewhat of a pain to feed him on demand and have him constantly hooked up to the blanket (and thus near an outlet), but it was a small sacrifice to make in order to make sure he was healthy.
Once we were home, it was nice to start adjusting to life as a family of four! The transition went quite smoothly, Praise God! My body healed up rather quickly and breast feeding went a lot smoother than last time and so chasing after an 18 month old and taking care of a new born just seemed very natural. Jason, as always, was a HUGE help - being largely responsible for Havana's care while I tended to Jonah and he would help me in the middle of the night by changing Jonah's diapers before I would feed him. I went to the doctors office by myself with just Jonah when Jonah was three days old and the secretary said I looked very rested for a mom of a new born and I quickly responded that I had a good husband who helps me out a lot. That was met with a lot of "awwws" by the office staff, but it is the truth. Jason has always gone above and beyond in his role as husband and father. :)
Havana is an incredible big sister. She loves Jonah and is very attentive to his needs (sometimes too attentive, but her motives are always pure :). It has been a joy to watch her learn how to be gentle and to share her toys with him. She never had a struggle with jealousy and she loved having a friend who rides with her in the car and stroller. To say I'm impressed with her would be an understatement.
Even Tucker has adjusted well to the new addition. When we brought Havana home, Tucker was sad for several days. However, bringing Jonah home didn't seem to phase Tucker much at all.
The other big change for our family was our move! When Jonah was three weeks old we moved from Indianapolis back to the Louisville area. It has been a breath of fresh air to be back! While there were parts of and people in Indianapolis that I absolutely LOVED - I never realized how it never felt like home to me until I moved back. I laugh and say I feel like I'm on vacation with how relaxed and happy I am! It is very natural to be back. Just driving around the city makes me smile, I'm home! That is really funny coming from a girl who moved to Louisville Kicking and Screaming and who wanted to move away as quickly as possible. Funny how things change...
I forgot how Louisville is really just a big, small town... I have enjoyed running into people I know anytime I stop somewhere - be it the zoo or the grocery. It is very nice for Jason and I to be back at our home church as well and seeing our old friends! We love our new neighborhood and our neighbors! We live in a very social neighborhood and pretty much every night everyone goes outside to talk with each other. Everyone has been very nice and pretty much everyone has offered to babysit. :) Our new home has a playground in the back yard which is a big hit with havana! We also have a neighborhood pool and some walking trails which have already provided our family with lots of fun!
The unpacking process is going pretty slowly since our days are spent playing with two children. By the time they go to sleep, we are ready to go to sleep as well. But little by little we are getting things accomplished. After we unpack, our next project will be decorating - we are hoping to get lots of new furniture and then from there to pick paint colors that we feel will make this house our home. The basement is completely unfinished and while we are setting up a workout area and a scrapbooking area down there now - eventually we will want to finish it. We are also enjoying planning our landscaping and what we want to do with our lawn. It has been fun and refreshing!
Right now Jonah is six weeks old and Havana is almost 20 months old. Jonah is doing pretty well, he is a HUGE boy... he is over 13 pounds and getting bigger every day. He has adapted to a three hour eating scheduel and the cycles of eating/awake time/sleep time. His night time sleep is just now stretching to longer hours so he is only waking up once a night these days and usually sleeps in until about 9am. He loves to snuggle and he is very endearing. He is overall a pretty content little boy who we are crazy about!
Havana is growing a lot these days too! She is a very tall girl - in the nursery at church she is by far the tallest one in the room. At storytime the other day she was standing next to a few three year olds and she was taller than both of them. I would say my husband marked both of my children with his "giant genes"! :) Havana is so much fun to play with and I LOVE watching her use her imagination. Her doll house and her little family are her favorite toys these days. She is a silly little girl who loves to giggle and she has such a tender heart. Jason and I have agreed we want to foster that in her - just allowing her to be a silly little girl and encouraging her tenderness. She loves to give hugs - even to pictures in the books we read to her - so we always tell her how sweet she is to hug the bird on the page. :)
She is making improvements with her language development. She is now saying "go" and "notebook" and a few other words as well as many animal sounds! She has increased her signs and now has a sign for pretty much everything including baby Jonah! :) We are going to continue to have her go to speech therapy down here, but most likely won't start that until July.
Our biggest challenge with her right now is the fact that she enjoys pulling Tucker's tail. We are learning what styles of discipline work best with her personality. We are doing a better job these days are remembering the big picture - thinking back to how HARD February was for us in terms of our battles with Havana over what she would eat for dinner. However, now she eats whatever I put in front of her without any objections. I sometimes laugh when I think that used to be a struggle and how now it isn't. That helps us not feel so overwhelmed when thinking about a certain struggle we are having with her - knowing that if we are consistent, she will learn what is expected of her and why and will soon adapt her behaviors accordingly. Then we'll move onto another challenge, but rejoicing in each victory we have with her. We are so grateful and humbled at the chance to parent her and raise her up to know and love Jesus.
Jason and I have spent lots of time praying for our children - their future spouses, their future lives, their faith. We also pray for present day things like Jonah's sleep patterns and for Havana with her speech development and her ever present separation anxiety... however, the other day I realized that I wanted to also pray for them just to be fun loving children who are sheltered from the cruel realities of this world for as long as possible. I just want them to dance through this world. I think about Havana and how wonderful her little life is - she wakes up to a mommy and daddy who are happy to see her. We eat, play, and laugh pretty much all day. Jason and I have encouraged her to have small moments of "individual play time" but for the most part, our days are just playing games and reading books to Havana. We save the house work and paper work for times when she is sleeping. As she and Jonah continue to grow and as we add other children to our family (hopefully) we want to make sure to keep that our priority. We don't want them to think they are the center of the world or that they can tell us what we will be doing that day, but we want them to know that playing with them is more important that doing the dishes and that family time is important to us all.
I have always been involved in ministries since I've become a Christian. Being very active in my church has always been at the core of who I am. However, as we are starting to add more children to our family, I'm starting to grasp the concept of stepping back. While there are still a few certain things I'll want to be involved it, I can no longer balance the many ministries I've been involved in and juggling two children. This was somewhat painful for me to fully accept at first. However, I started thinking about the Great Commission where Jesus tells us to, "...go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you...
(Matthew 28:19-20). As I sat and pondered that, I came to embrace that for right now, I am commissioned to make disciples out of Havana and Jonah. They are my Great Commission and that is not a role or ministry I should take lightly or view as 2nd rate. That is my priority when it comes to living out the Great Commission even though it will look very different than leading ministries, mission trips, and Bible studies. As I told Jason my thoughts on this he agreed and added that through their lives, they can reach more people for Christ than I could alone, so investing in teaching them God's truths is by far my greatest responsibility and ministerial role. That really makes changing diapers become a lot more significant.
Jason and I continue to do well in our marriage. I am truly so blessed to be married to such an amazing man! Perhaps that is one of the reasons I love being back in Louisville so much - I drive down the road and everything seems to have a connection to Jason and when we first started dating - our love story. :) We've been married 5.5 years now and have learned so much through the years. We've always been good about reading the Bible and praying together regularly, but we just started something new where we are memorizing Scripture together each week as well. While that is something we have both done individually in the past or together for a certain verse occasionally that can be applied to a trial we are facing - we've never made a habit of doing it together each week. We're excited for how the Lord will teach us more about Himself while we add that discipline to our lives.
The other day I was upstairs holding Jonah and I walked into Havana's room and she was singing and dancing. We looked at each other, smiled huge smiles at each other and both started laughing. The love that I feel for my family is overwhelming at times, but I sat there looking at my carefree, beautiful daughter and I was holding my handsome, content son - and I was humbled with my wonderful family - I am certainly blessed beyond what I deserve. My husband is incredible and my children are amazing. They are more than I deserve, but I'm incredibly thankful and try daily not to take a single minute of my life for granted. Life can be messy, but God is so good! Praying that you all relish in His faithfulness too!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The Story Behind His Name...
Hey Everyone!
To update on the labor/delivery - we checked into the hospital around 7am and were first seen by our doctor a little after 9am. She started us on some gel and that started at 9:25. With Havana, we did 2 rounds of the gel overnight before we started the induction the next morning. However, the gel worked all on its own this time and we never needed pitocin. I began having regular contractions, my water broke about 1:15, and I received my epidural at 1:40. I struggled with feeling sick to my stomach for about 30 minutes, but other than that, it was a pain free and struggle free process. I was fully dilated at 6:30pm, began pushing at 6:45pm, and he was born at 6:51pm! That's 5 short minutes of pushing! I felt quite blessed. He is perfect! We enjoyed our first night with him here at the hospital and we can't wait for him to meet his big sister later today!
You have heard by now that Ap's real name is Jonah Abraham Dugger! Please allow me to share with you the significance behind his name as it is rich with meaning for us! First of all, he has the initials JAD which are Jason's initials... I have my dad's initials and he has his dad's initials and while these aren't the "DLD" initials - we wanted to sort of carry on the tradition of a child having the dad's initials.
I knew immediately that I wanted to name him Jonah. During July and August I really wrestled with God on a daily basis over His goodness to others -- in lots of areas, but especially in the area of fertility. I couldn't grasp why it was so easy for some people to become pregnant and carry those babies to term and while for others it was a such a daily battle to conceive and carry to term. I felt as if some people were so deserving of being able to conceive and felt other's were not and yet they were usually the ones who were able to get pregnant very quickly. While I was ashamed at these thoughts, they were very real and I found myself becoming quite bitter about it. That is when the Lord had me camp out in the book of Jonah for a few months during my quiet times with Him. I could relate to Jonah's anger to the Lord's mercy. Yet, I kept coming back to the line where God asks Jonah, "Do you have any right to be angry." I knew the Lord kept asking me that same question, calling me to come out of that place of bitterness. Yet, my first response was an awful lot like Jonah, "Yes, I am so angry I could die." I certainly feel that I have that same over dramatic nature in myself and often was just as honest with God as dear old Jonah was.
In my heart of hearts, I didn't mean that (being so angry I could die), but my first response was I was so angry and felt I had every right to be. I remember telling God one morning as I finished reading the passage yet again, that if I was to get pregnant soon and it was a son, that I would name him Jonah to remind me of the lessons of God's grace and goodness. That it is OKAY for the Lord to show favor on people - even if I view the people as less than deserving. I should welcome that, embrace that, and trust that God loves those people more than I could ever know and I need to trust Him. He has a plan and a reason and I need to be okay with whatever. Not just in the area of fertility (although that is where I need to learn it the most), but in every area of life.
During all that time I also felt like I wanted to run away from the lessons He was teaching me from the book of Jonah. In fact, in an e-mail to a friend back in July 2009 I wrote, "It (in regards to miscarriage and infertility) makes me sad, and it makes me mad, but I do think God is wanting to teach me things through this... but I'm trying to ignore that... just call me Jonah... if I go missing, check the belly of a whale."
So, in December, when we found out for sure that Ap was a boy... there really was no other option for a first name. I had told God I would name my son that and even still - as I sometimes struggle with the bitterness that trickles back into me, I say to myself, "this is why I'm naming my son Jonah... so that I can remember to be okay with the Lord's mercy."
Abraham --- Jonah's middle name comes from our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln. Back when I had first met Jason, I'm not even sure if we were dating yet, and we started talking about names for our future children - he said he wanted to name his son Abraham after Abraham Lincoln. Jason had written a paper on him in high school and gained a lot of respect for not only the leader he was, but the Christian husband and father that he was. Abraham Lincoln is also significant to me as well because he is in my family tree through my dad's side of the family. I pray that our son will be a strong and faith filled leader such as President Lincoln was - even if he is only the leader of his family and not the whole United States.
I am proud to have a son whose name has so much rich meaning to us! I pray that every time I call his name out, I am reminded of the Lord's goodness and of a Godly man who was once president of this great nation that we love!
To update on the labor/delivery - we checked into the hospital around 7am and were first seen by our doctor a little after 9am. She started us on some gel and that started at 9:25. With Havana, we did 2 rounds of the gel overnight before we started the induction the next morning. However, the gel worked all on its own this time and we never needed pitocin. I began having regular contractions, my water broke about 1:15, and I received my epidural at 1:40. I struggled with feeling sick to my stomach for about 30 minutes, but other than that, it was a pain free and struggle free process. I was fully dilated at 6:30pm, began pushing at 6:45pm, and he was born at 6:51pm! That's 5 short minutes of pushing! I felt quite blessed. He is perfect! We enjoyed our first night with him here at the hospital and we can't wait for him to meet his big sister later today!
You have heard by now that Ap's real name is Jonah Abraham Dugger! Please allow me to share with you the significance behind his name as it is rich with meaning for us! First of all, he has the initials JAD which are Jason's initials... I have my dad's initials and he has his dad's initials and while these aren't the "DLD" initials - we wanted to sort of carry on the tradition of a child having the dad's initials.
I knew immediately that I wanted to name him Jonah. During July and August I really wrestled with God on a daily basis over His goodness to others -- in lots of areas, but especially in the area of fertility. I couldn't grasp why it was so easy for some people to become pregnant and carry those babies to term and while for others it was a such a daily battle to conceive and carry to term. I felt as if some people were so deserving of being able to conceive and felt other's were not and yet they were usually the ones who were able to get pregnant very quickly. While I was ashamed at these thoughts, they were very real and I found myself becoming quite bitter about it. That is when the Lord had me camp out in the book of Jonah for a few months during my quiet times with Him. I could relate to Jonah's anger to the Lord's mercy. Yet, I kept coming back to the line where God asks Jonah, "Do you have any right to be angry." I knew the Lord kept asking me that same question, calling me to come out of that place of bitterness. Yet, my first response was an awful lot like Jonah, "Yes, I am so angry I could die." I certainly feel that I have that same over dramatic nature in myself and often was just as honest with God as dear old Jonah was.
In my heart of hearts, I didn't mean that (being so angry I could die), but my first response was I was so angry and felt I had every right to be. I remember telling God one morning as I finished reading the passage yet again, that if I was to get pregnant soon and it was a son, that I would name him Jonah to remind me of the lessons of God's grace and goodness. That it is OKAY for the Lord to show favor on people - even if I view the people as less than deserving. I should welcome that, embrace that, and trust that God loves those people more than I could ever know and I need to trust Him. He has a plan and a reason and I need to be okay with whatever. Not just in the area of fertility (although that is where I need to learn it the most), but in every area of life.
During all that time I also felt like I wanted to run away from the lessons He was teaching me from the book of Jonah. In fact, in an e-mail to a friend back in July 2009 I wrote, "It (in regards to miscarriage and infertility) makes me sad, and it makes me mad, but I do think God is wanting to teach me things through this... but I'm trying to ignore that... just call me Jonah... if I go missing, check the belly of a whale."
So, in December, when we found out for sure that Ap was a boy... there really was no other option for a first name. I had told God I would name my son that and even still - as I sometimes struggle with the bitterness that trickles back into me, I say to myself, "this is why I'm naming my son Jonah... so that I can remember to be okay with the Lord's mercy."
Abraham --- Jonah's middle name comes from our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln. Back when I had first met Jason, I'm not even sure if we were dating yet, and we started talking about names for our future children - he said he wanted to name his son Abraham after Abraham Lincoln. Jason had written a paper on him in high school and gained a lot of respect for not only the leader he was, but the Christian husband and father that he was. Abraham Lincoln is also significant to me as well because he is in my family tree through my dad's side of the family. I pray that our son will be a strong and faith filled leader such as President Lincoln was - even if he is only the leader of his family and not the whole United States.
I am proud to have a son whose name has so much rich meaning to us! I pray that every time I call his name out, I am reminded of the Lord's goodness and of a Godly man who was once president of this great nation that we love!
Monday, April 19, 2010
April Update
Sadly, my goal of updating the blog once a month is failing... miserably. Ha! I am so far behind I wonder where to even start...
Havana:
Well, our precious daughter will be 18 months old on April 28th! She is getting so big, so quickly. I'm very proud of her and absolutely love my job of being her mommy. I can't imagine spending my days doing anything else other than playing with her and meeting her needs. She has such a sweet and tender heart that I love watching.
I won't lie, it was a long winter with her. She is very much like me and we both get bored quickly if we just stay home all day - so being snowed in for several days was a challenge on both of us, but we made it through. ;) The past few months had other challenges in them as well as she is gaining independence and had discovered the wonderful world of fits. It has certainly tested me in our parenting skills.
A couple of months ago, she became quite demanding for TV and what foods she wanted to eat. If you didn't give her the foods she wanted, she would throw the food you were giving her on the floor and scream non-stop. If you said no to TV, she would throw herself on the floor. We quickly realized we needed to bite this in the butt. We totally took away all TV for her and went several weeks without turning it on at all. That was actually very refreshing! The meal time battle was a little different, at first I would offer her a few different foods for dinner because I was scared she would get hungry at night. She would reject everything I offered (I'm sure if I offered ice cream, she would have been okay with that! :) After a few nights of that Jason and I really decided that isn't going to be how we do things in our family. She can't decide what we eat for dinner, I decide. I can't imagine having 5 children and fixing them all something different. She can eat what is offered or she can go to bed hungry... Still, it took several nights of her screaming, throwing her food on the floor, and going to bed without dinner before she quickly got the hang of it. I'm happy to announce it has been at least a full month, if not two, since her last fit at dinner time. In fact, now she gladly eats what we give her or is content to walk around the kitchen by herself while Jason and I finish dinner. While we eat we refuse to hold her or play with her - so she can eat dinner with us or play by herself. Meal times are much nicer around our house these days. :)
Dealing with her emerging self will was certainly a trying time for us. As her parents, we hate to see her upset, but we had to look at the big picture-- what did we want to instill in her? We did not want her to think that she gets to choose what we eat... nor do we want her to think if she cries hard enough, she will get her way. We want her to learn that mommy and daddy are the boss and we love her, but won't let her rule our home. While I do think giving a child choices is very healthy for them, there are only certain types of choices she gets. She can choose to drink water or milk with her snack, during our free play time (pretty much all day...:) she can choose what room and what toy. She can choose which book we read, etc. She CANNOT choose what we eat for meals, when and how much TV she gets, what time she goes to bed, etc.
I certainly wouldn't call our parenting style authoritative, but we do expect her to learn self control. She will still throw fits, as all toddlers do, but we gently tell her that she needs to gain self control and then we walk away. Once she has gained self control, we praise her and then we talk about her feelings - why she was feeling sad, what did she want, and if applicable, why she couldn't have what she was asking for. We think communication is key, but at the same time, I'm not going to explain myself to her or ask her if it is alright that we don't do something -- sometimes it is just because mommy and daddy don't think the activity she wanted to do is best for the family right now or whatever - we do explain that to her and we always tell her that we love her very much but that she can't always get her way. I also tell her I know this is a hard lesson to learn.
We've also been working on first time obedience. If she disobeys us, she is punished (right now that punishment is usually either a time out or ending a game we were playing). It is hard (emotionally and physically not to mention the time it takes up!) to continually follow through, but it is so very important for her to know that we mean what we say... when we say it. When we ask her to put a book away, we do expect her to do it. At first we had to help her with this, but now she knows that when we finish a book, she has to put it back... sometimes she'll run off laughing or just throw the book on the ground (and laugh). That isn't acceptable...While we have done a lot to baby proof the house - she will go up and touch the TV or an outlet while looking at us because she KNOWS she isn't supposed to... little goose... anyway, if she does either of those, she will get put in time out. The other day I told her no and she immediately signed "sorry" which is what she has to do in order to come out of time out - I had to keep my laughter inside and still make her have a time out! :) Our basic parenting philosophy is that our first goal with her - above anything else - is to have her know and love the Lord. We try to model that in our own lives for her as well as talking and praying with her often. We want her to know that God is trusting us to be her parents, and it is her responsibility to obey us... when she disobeys us, she is ultimately disobeying God. We want her heart to reflect obedience towards Him and with that comes obeying us. We also have a responsibility to apologize to her if our parenting or example isn't in line with His Word. There has already been a time or two I've had to apologize to her for mistakes I have made... We also feel that once she is old enough to do something herself, we no longer do it for her. Now that she can put her books away without our help, that is now her job, I'm not going to do it for her anymore. That way she learns responsibility.
Other than dealing with all of that, which was more during February than now... our focus these days is just being consistent... she's a pretty perfect little girl. She does make me laugh out loud daily by something that she does and I love watching her use her imagination! She enjoys music, reading, cooking in her kitchen, building towers, and driving her cozy coup! She has also become very aware of shapes and loves any sort of shape sorter! We take many trips to the zoo, the children's museum, the park, bouncertown, and we have story time at the library twice a week! We also try to have 1-2 play dates with friends a week! She's very active, smart, funny, and kind. She can be pretty sensitive (she gets that from me!) and I love how tender the Lord has made her heart. I can't wait to see what He does in and through her life!!!
She is starting to look more and more like me, but certainly has her daddy's height. I look at her every morning pretty sure she grew several inches from the night before. She is a great little communicator with sign language, but her verbal communication isn't where it "should" be and so we are getting ready to start speech therapy with her. I guess part of me wishes she didn't need speech therapy because I feel as if she is so perfect, but Jason and I agree that we would rather be proactive and help this instead of her turning two and us thinking we should have started something earlier. Her hearing and comprehension are incredible (I can be in one room and start quoting from a book that is on her bookshelf in her room and she'll run and pick out the exact book I'm quoting!) but she doesn't realize she can say words like we can. She has not shown much frustration over this and as I said, she is very good at communicating... but it will be fun to watch her as she learns how to form words on her own! I think Jason is getting excited to hear her say "dada" which she still has never said (although she does sign for him now, which is very sweet). :)
We get asked a lot if she is ready to be a big sister. Well, I don't know... since she is so young there isn't a lot we can do to prepare her, but over the winter, we got Baby Ap's room ready and if the door is closed we tell her she needs to be quiet because he is sleeping. If it is open, she can go in and play. We also transitioned her into a "big girl room" and moved the glider and such out of her room and into the nursery. Now I'll sit in the glider in the nursery and tell her I can't play with her because I'm feeding baby brother... so she usually just brings a book in to my feet and looks at it. I'm not sure she really understands, but I'm hoping as we bring him home and I say those words, she'll put it all together. We've also been reading a few books to her - one is Grumpy Gloria which is about a dog who feels left out until she learns there is room for two... and we really talk about the pictures and what is happening. We also have a book called "I'm a Big Sister Now" and it goes all into babies and how they cry and don't play very much, but how mommy and daddy still love the big sister. We read that to her often but changed the names from Baby to his name and when it says "I" we insert "Havana." Sometimes when we are snuggling I'll tell her a story about a Mommabear, Dadabear, Havanabear, and a BabyApbear.... and tell the story of bringing Ap home and Havana not knowing what to think about it... again, I'm not sure how much she realizes, but hopefully, once we put a face with a name, I'm hoping it will all click! That and a whole lot of prayer!
Jason and I have certainly become MUCH more prayerful in everything. She is getting to the age we don't want to make parenting mistakes that we'll have to "undo" later and we want to really seek God's face in how to raise her... so, we've gotten into the habit of praying with her a lot, but after we put her to bed at night, we usually go and pray for her and for us. It is humbling and exciting to see the Lord work in our family in such powerful ways.
Baby Ap:
Well, he's doing well. I'm now full term! This pregnancy has been harder in general than my one with Havana, but I certainly can't complain because I'm so grateful for life and to be able to have another baby. I can't wait to meet him in about a week! :)
We have his first name picked out -- but not his middle name yet. We keep going back and forth between two different names for that one. I wore a bracelet when Havana was born that had her named engraved on it and so we took that same bracelet back to the store and had them engrave his name on it as well. Can't wait to share it with you all and the story behind it!!! :)
Jason and I are doing incredibly well. I am so grateful for such a wonderful husband. The other day I was looking at Havana and was overcome with peace that she would marry a quality man because of the dad she has. They have such an incredible relationship and I feel that all my children will benefit greatly in life because Jason is their father. :) He continues to be an amazing husband each and every day. He comes home and tells me stories of conversations he has had at work where he is able to share his faith or what God is teaching him and I'm just so thankful for him as my spiritual leader and protector.
We also have been seeking the Lord's will for where we should move. We are currently living in a rental house until the baby is born and we actually found a house within the past week that we made an offer on! The offer was accepted and pending a good home inspection, we should be closing on it in mid-May. The house is in New Albany, Indiana - near exit 7 off of 65. For those who don't live around there, that is very close to Louisville! We are very, very excited to move back and get re-integrated with all of our dear friends. While I will miss my friends and the city of Indy; I am thrilled to think about being part of the Southeast family again. I feel so blessed by all my Louisville friends who have stayed close despite the miles and it will be so refreshing to be back there. Four years later, every time I head back to visit, I always feel like I am home.
We had thought about moving back down there earlier, but by the time we sold our house, we knew we were pregnant and wanted to stay up here and keep our doctor (whom we LOVE!!!) so we just rented a house. Jason mentioned once that he wondered if the way were feeling is similar to what the Israelites felt...knowing God is calling us to some place, but not being able to get there. Feeling almost like an aimless wanderer, not really being able to put down roots knowing we might leave, but knowing it wasn't time to enter the Land either. Of course, we know Louisville is NOT the promised land, but it is challenging to stay in one place when you feel called to another. But, we're getting excited for the move becoming closer (although moving with a new born and an 18 month old doesn't sound so appealing!) despite how sad we'll be to leave certain people and Elijah's grave site. I certainly have plans on coming back from time to time and am so thankful for facebook to stay in touch with friends!
Living in New Albany will be a longer commute for Jason, but he's willing to do it for our family. He is still loving his job at Columbus Regional Hospital, and I have to say that I like it too! All his partners are very nice and his hours are amazing! We are so grateful for him to have that job!
Well, I most likely won't update until after the baby is born... which is just a few days away! Please be praying for us, Ap and his safe arrival, and Havana and the transition of becoming a big sister (and that she does well without Mommy and Daddy for a few days...). I'm so excited to see what the Lord has planned for the Dugger family!!
Havana:
Well, our precious daughter will be 18 months old on April 28th! She is getting so big, so quickly. I'm very proud of her and absolutely love my job of being her mommy. I can't imagine spending my days doing anything else other than playing with her and meeting her needs. She has such a sweet and tender heart that I love watching.
I won't lie, it was a long winter with her. She is very much like me and we both get bored quickly if we just stay home all day - so being snowed in for several days was a challenge on both of us, but we made it through. ;) The past few months had other challenges in them as well as she is gaining independence and had discovered the wonderful world of fits. It has certainly tested me in our parenting skills.
A couple of months ago, she became quite demanding for TV and what foods she wanted to eat. If you didn't give her the foods she wanted, she would throw the food you were giving her on the floor and scream non-stop. If you said no to TV, she would throw herself on the floor. We quickly realized we needed to bite this in the butt. We totally took away all TV for her and went several weeks without turning it on at all. That was actually very refreshing! The meal time battle was a little different, at first I would offer her a few different foods for dinner because I was scared she would get hungry at night. She would reject everything I offered (I'm sure if I offered ice cream, she would have been okay with that! :) After a few nights of that Jason and I really decided that isn't going to be how we do things in our family. She can't decide what we eat for dinner, I decide. I can't imagine having 5 children and fixing them all something different. She can eat what is offered or she can go to bed hungry... Still, it took several nights of her screaming, throwing her food on the floor, and going to bed without dinner before she quickly got the hang of it. I'm happy to announce it has been at least a full month, if not two, since her last fit at dinner time. In fact, now she gladly eats what we give her or is content to walk around the kitchen by herself while Jason and I finish dinner. While we eat we refuse to hold her or play with her - so she can eat dinner with us or play by herself. Meal times are much nicer around our house these days. :)
Dealing with her emerging self will was certainly a trying time for us. As her parents, we hate to see her upset, but we had to look at the big picture-- what did we want to instill in her? We did not want her to think that she gets to choose what we eat... nor do we want her to think if she cries hard enough, she will get her way. We want her to learn that mommy and daddy are the boss and we love her, but won't let her rule our home. While I do think giving a child choices is very healthy for them, there are only certain types of choices she gets. She can choose to drink water or milk with her snack, during our free play time (pretty much all day...:) she can choose what room and what toy. She can choose which book we read, etc. She CANNOT choose what we eat for meals, when and how much TV she gets, what time she goes to bed, etc.
I certainly wouldn't call our parenting style authoritative, but we do expect her to learn self control. She will still throw fits, as all toddlers do, but we gently tell her that she needs to gain self control and then we walk away. Once she has gained self control, we praise her and then we talk about her feelings - why she was feeling sad, what did she want, and if applicable, why she couldn't have what she was asking for. We think communication is key, but at the same time, I'm not going to explain myself to her or ask her if it is alright that we don't do something -- sometimes it is just because mommy and daddy don't think the activity she wanted to do is best for the family right now or whatever - we do explain that to her and we always tell her that we love her very much but that she can't always get her way. I also tell her I know this is a hard lesson to learn.
We've also been working on first time obedience. If she disobeys us, she is punished (right now that punishment is usually either a time out or ending a game we were playing). It is hard (emotionally and physically not to mention the time it takes up!) to continually follow through, but it is so very important for her to know that we mean what we say... when we say it. When we ask her to put a book away, we do expect her to do it. At first we had to help her with this, but now she knows that when we finish a book, she has to put it back... sometimes she'll run off laughing or just throw the book on the ground (and laugh). That isn't acceptable...While we have done a lot to baby proof the house - she will go up and touch the TV or an outlet while looking at us because she KNOWS she isn't supposed to... little goose... anyway, if she does either of those, she will get put in time out. The other day I told her no and she immediately signed "sorry" which is what she has to do in order to come out of time out - I had to keep my laughter inside and still make her have a time out! :) Our basic parenting philosophy is that our first goal with her - above anything else - is to have her know and love the Lord. We try to model that in our own lives for her as well as talking and praying with her often. We want her to know that God is trusting us to be her parents, and it is her responsibility to obey us... when she disobeys us, she is ultimately disobeying God. We want her heart to reflect obedience towards Him and with that comes obeying us. We also have a responsibility to apologize to her if our parenting or example isn't in line with His Word. There has already been a time or two I've had to apologize to her for mistakes I have made... We also feel that once she is old enough to do something herself, we no longer do it for her. Now that she can put her books away without our help, that is now her job, I'm not going to do it for her anymore. That way she learns responsibility.
Other than dealing with all of that, which was more during February than now... our focus these days is just being consistent... she's a pretty perfect little girl. She does make me laugh out loud daily by something that she does and I love watching her use her imagination! She enjoys music, reading, cooking in her kitchen, building towers, and driving her cozy coup! She has also become very aware of shapes and loves any sort of shape sorter! We take many trips to the zoo, the children's museum, the park, bouncertown, and we have story time at the library twice a week! We also try to have 1-2 play dates with friends a week! She's very active, smart, funny, and kind. She can be pretty sensitive (she gets that from me!) and I love how tender the Lord has made her heart. I can't wait to see what He does in and through her life!!!
She is starting to look more and more like me, but certainly has her daddy's height. I look at her every morning pretty sure she grew several inches from the night before. She is a great little communicator with sign language, but her verbal communication isn't where it "should" be and so we are getting ready to start speech therapy with her. I guess part of me wishes she didn't need speech therapy because I feel as if she is so perfect, but Jason and I agree that we would rather be proactive and help this instead of her turning two and us thinking we should have started something earlier. Her hearing and comprehension are incredible (I can be in one room and start quoting from a book that is on her bookshelf in her room and she'll run and pick out the exact book I'm quoting!) but she doesn't realize she can say words like we can. She has not shown much frustration over this and as I said, she is very good at communicating... but it will be fun to watch her as she learns how to form words on her own! I think Jason is getting excited to hear her say "dada" which she still has never said (although she does sign for him now, which is very sweet). :)
We get asked a lot if she is ready to be a big sister. Well, I don't know... since she is so young there isn't a lot we can do to prepare her, but over the winter, we got Baby Ap's room ready and if the door is closed we tell her she needs to be quiet because he is sleeping. If it is open, she can go in and play. We also transitioned her into a "big girl room" and moved the glider and such out of her room and into the nursery. Now I'll sit in the glider in the nursery and tell her I can't play with her because I'm feeding baby brother... so she usually just brings a book in to my feet and looks at it. I'm not sure she really understands, but I'm hoping as we bring him home and I say those words, she'll put it all together. We've also been reading a few books to her - one is Grumpy Gloria which is about a dog who feels left out until she learns there is room for two... and we really talk about the pictures and what is happening. We also have a book called "I'm a Big Sister Now" and it goes all into babies and how they cry and don't play very much, but how mommy and daddy still love the big sister. We read that to her often but changed the names from Baby to his name and when it says "I" we insert "Havana." Sometimes when we are snuggling I'll tell her a story about a Mommabear, Dadabear, Havanabear, and a BabyApbear.... and tell the story of bringing Ap home and Havana not knowing what to think about it... again, I'm not sure how much she realizes, but hopefully, once we put a face with a name, I'm hoping it will all click! That and a whole lot of prayer!
Jason and I have certainly become MUCH more prayerful in everything. She is getting to the age we don't want to make parenting mistakes that we'll have to "undo" later and we want to really seek God's face in how to raise her... so, we've gotten into the habit of praying with her a lot, but after we put her to bed at night, we usually go and pray for her and for us. It is humbling and exciting to see the Lord work in our family in such powerful ways.
Baby Ap:
Well, he's doing well. I'm now full term! This pregnancy has been harder in general than my one with Havana, but I certainly can't complain because I'm so grateful for life and to be able to have another baby. I can't wait to meet him in about a week! :)
We have his first name picked out -- but not his middle name yet. We keep going back and forth between two different names for that one. I wore a bracelet when Havana was born that had her named engraved on it and so we took that same bracelet back to the store and had them engrave his name on it as well. Can't wait to share it with you all and the story behind it!!! :)
Jason and I are doing incredibly well. I am so grateful for such a wonderful husband. The other day I was looking at Havana and was overcome with peace that she would marry a quality man because of the dad she has. They have such an incredible relationship and I feel that all my children will benefit greatly in life because Jason is their father. :) He continues to be an amazing husband each and every day. He comes home and tells me stories of conversations he has had at work where he is able to share his faith or what God is teaching him and I'm just so thankful for him as my spiritual leader and protector.
We also have been seeking the Lord's will for where we should move. We are currently living in a rental house until the baby is born and we actually found a house within the past week that we made an offer on! The offer was accepted and pending a good home inspection, we should be closing on it in mid-May. The house is in New Albany, Indiana - near exit 7 off of 65. For those who don't live around there, that is very close to Louisville! We are very, very excited to move back and get re-integrated with all of our dear friends. While I will miss my friends and the city of Indy; I am thrilled to think about being part of the Southeast family again. I feel so blessed by all my Louisville friends who have stayed close despite the miles and it will be so refreshing to be back there. Four years later, every time I head back to visit, I always feel like I am home.
We had thought about moving back down there earlier, but by the time we sold our house, we knew we were pregnant and wanted to stay up here and keep our doctor (whom we LOVE!!!) so we just rented a house. Jason mentioned once that he wondered if the way were feeling is similar to what the Israelites felt...knowing God is calling us to some place, but not being able to get there. Feeling almost like an aimless wanderer, not really being able to put down roots knowing we might leave, but knowing it wasn't time to enter the Land either. Of course, we know Louisville is NOT the promised land, but it is challenging to stay in one place when you feel called to another. But, we're getting excited for the move becoming closer (although moving with a new born and an 18 month old doesn't sound so appealing!) despite how sad we'll be to leave certain people and Elijah's grave site. I certainly have plans on coming back from time to time and am so thankful for facebook to stay in touch with friends!
Living in New Albany will be a longer commute for Jason, but he's willing to do it for our family. He is still loving his job at Columbus Regional Hospital, and I have to say that I like it too! All his partners are very nice and his hours are amazing! We are so grateful for him to have that job!
Well, I most likely won't update until after the baby is born... which is just a few days away! Please be praying for us, Ap and his safe arrival, and Havana and the transition of becoming a big sister (and that she does well without Mommy and Daddy for a few days...). I'm so excited to see what the Lord has planned for the Dugger family!!
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