Friday, October 8, 2010

Contraception



Tonight I had the honor of hearing the Duggar family (from TLC's 19 Kids and Counting Show) speak and then the even greater honor of meeting them. I will blog about that opportunity soon (it was very neat!) however, I didn't want to let tonight pass without bodly stating my beliefs on Contraception. These beliefs were not founded tonight in light of the Duggar's speech, but have been heavy convictions of Jason's and mine for a long time.

In the risk of angering people, I'm sorry, but Jason and I are anti-contraception. We don't believe in the pill, the patch, the ring, or the IU device. In fact, we are MORALLY opposed to those methods. Why?! Plain and simple, they cause abortions. If you believe that life begins at conception and you believe that abortion is wrong... then it would only make sense for you to believe that all forms of medical birth control are wrong. A lot of people get "sensative" about this and I hesitate writing this... but it is the truth. One of the ways it "prevents" pregnancy is by not allowing a fertilized egg to implant into the uterous. That is an abortion. Life beings at conception... not when implantation occurs, not when the heart starts beating, and not when the baby is born.

I told Michelle Duggar tonight, "I am praying for an anti-contracpetion revival in the Protestant Church" -- that is very much a Catholic belief, but is not taught much in the Protestant Church. We believe abortions are wrong, but not birth control. That shouldn't be. As Jim Bob pointed out tonight in his speech, "We will never be a country that outlaws abortion until we become a country that values each life." In talking with him later in the evening, Jim Bob shared a web site with me: www.28daysonthepill.com  that I told him I would have to post. Check it out!

Michelle and Jim Bob both say that the Lord did a "heart work" on them after they suffered a miscarriage due to being on the pill. At that point the Lord changed their hearts to have His Heart for children. To see them not as a burden or a choice, but a blessing. They now have 19 blessings. The Lord did that same heart work in Jason and myself. We both have wanted a larger family... around 5 children at least, but as people who read this blog know... it took us a while three years before we were able to bring home our first blessing. In that time we suffered one miscarriage at 11 weeks, Elijah. Losing Elijah was very heartbreaking. We wanted that baby, we had worked for years for that baby... His life was meaningful, impactful, important. We didn't lose cells...we lost a baby with a soul!

After that, our lives were forever changed. We didn't take "life" for granted. We didn't want to stop at 5 children... we wanted however many children the Lord wants to give us... through pregnancy or adoption. We currently only have two, but we don't and never will prevent pregnancy. You might scoff and say, "talk to us when you have 5 and you'll be singing a different tune." But my response is, unless the Lord calls us to stop.... we won't stop.

What about other forms of "birth control" that aren't medical? Ones that don't cause abortions? Are those wrong? Well, morally, no I'm not as opposed to those... however, Jason and I don't believe in them. As I said, we are open to life. I don't want to put our plan above God's plan... I don't want to limit God...  Personally, I also could never look and Havana and Jonah and say, "no more" or "not right now" even on the bad days. To say: I love you, but I don't want more of you. Ouch. That's harsh to me. Now, I understand that there are times when finances and focusing on a marriage (such as that first year) hinder in a couple's decisions for when and when not try for children. I'm not judging those times at all, but I think there is a difference in "not trying" and "preventing." Jason and I can be not trying to children, but we won't be preventing. There are also natural ways such as NFP or the Creighton Model that help you know when your fertile days are so you know what days to avoid "activies." :) That's not wrong, that's being responsible.

I know, I know... this is a sensative topic. One that I don't mind sharing with friends, but hesitate mentioning on my blog or to people I don't know. Yet, I don't want to be like that anymore. The Lord has done a work on my heart and I don't only want my life to show it, but I want my words to support it as well. People think they have a right to choose when to add to their family. They can plan to have three children spaced out by two years each. But, what blessings are they missing out on when they do that? Love multiplies, it does not divide. People (Christians) can see abortion as one thing and birth control as another... so I dare to ask... are they really two different things?

4 comments:

Julie said...

Darby!!! Praise God for His leading you to speak the truth! I am going to be posting this on my blog and my facebook page.

God is doing some amazing things through your marriage and your writings!!

Colleen said...

Darby,
Thank you for your boldness on speaking the truth about hormonal contraceptives!I never realized until this year how they actually work and I was so glad to hear Michelle address the topic last night.

Megan said...

Darby, I am a friend of Julie's, and I just wanted to say that I loved your post! I also love that you mentioned the Creighton Model! Thank you for speaking the truth!

Anonymous said...

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- David