Florida Vacation

Last month we took our second family vacation since becoming a family of four. When we only had Havana, we went out of town a lot... sometimes as often as once a month. However, when the 2nd baby came along, our travels became quite infrequent. Last August, when Jonah was 3.5 months old, we took a trip up to St. Joseph, MI and had a great time, but have been unable to get away again until this past trip.

We knew we wanted to take one last trip before baby number three makes his/her appearance this summer and we ended up decided on taking a road trip to Orlando, FL. Jason ended up having a little extra time off and so we decided we would leave on a Friday and take a slow drive down there - stopping to see Jason's grandmother who leaves near Tallahassee, FL. We had been needing to buy a van for a while and so the Tuesday before we left we took the plunge and bought a new Honda Odyssey to help make the drive easier. We put almost 3,000 miles on it during its first week of life and I can say that we loved every minute in that car. I'm convinced that car does everything for me except fold my laundry... it was roomy, comfortable, and the perfect road trip car! :)  

We wanted to leave around 9am on Friday morning, but we ended up leaving around 11am. Sadly, it was rained hard our entire drive which made our pace even slower than we imagined, Not to mention that it made our desire to stop and get the kids out the of car almost non-existent since we would be getting them in/out in pouring down rain. But, none the less, we were on vacation! :) We stopped a few hours south of our house for lunch where we ordered some warm water to make a bottle for Jonah. Well, they brought a min-tea pot of scalding HOT water. We quickly poured some into his bottle and then put the tea pot on the floor behind H's chair so that the kids wouldn't knock it over on themselves. A little bit later, Havana starts rocking her chair backwards and tips the entire pot of water over all over the diaper bag on the floor. Jason and I became side tracked with picking up the water that we didn't see Havana who reaches for Jason's full cup of iced tea... she tries to take a sip out of it and ends up dumping the entire cup on herself, Jason, and the floor. Even as I write this I am laughing out loud because it was so funny. Granted, Jason didn't think it was as funny since he was the one who had to wear wet shorts the rest of the day, but it really was a sight to be seen. I quickly took Havana to the bathroom and changed her clothes and came out and had her go up and say, "thank you" to the man mopping up her spilled water/iced tea.  We made a quick exit and continue our drive south.

The children did great through the entire drive down. In fact, we didn't even have to start a show until 8.5 hours into the ride. The kids didn't know we had a DVD player in the car and so when a show started they were quite happy. Jason and I both noticed that Havana was really trying hard to sing along with the songs on the radio (her children's cds) and she said "Baby Sad" when Jonah began crying. We both were very pleased because we felt she was really making a breakthrough in her speech.  We ended up stopping again around 8pm for dinner in Alabama... I think the kids were so loopy at that point that anything would have been funny for them, but Havana started making Jonah laugh and I've never seen such a sight. The two were feeding off each other and sending each other into deep belly laughters. It was so much fun. We packed up the car and headed a few more hours south until we could not push the children any longer. We found a hotel close to midnight. As we were unloading the car, Jason dropped something, and Havana shouted, "Oh Nuts, Daddy." Jason and I looked at each other -- where did she learn that expression?!



The hotel that night was nice - we got a suit so that the children could have their own room away from us. This was really Jonah's first time in his pack-n-play since last time we traveled he was not yet rolling and so we just slept on a regular bed. Anyway, he did not like the pack-n-play... not one bit... and so he had to cry it out for a little while. It was a good thing it was midnight and he was so tired because he didn't fight it for long. Jason and I slept great on our temperpedic mattress that the hotel provided. I'm a believer in those now. :)

Saturday morning the children awoke a little earlier than normal, but we all got up, had some breakfast at the hotel, and hit the road again. We were about two hours away from Jason's grandmother. We got to her place a little before lunch and had an enjoyable visit with her. This was her first time meeting our children and so it was very special. We ended up going to a little music festival where Jonah was able to crawl around and Havana was able to show off her dance moves. The weather was sunny and warm and we finally felt like we were on vacation. :)

That afternoon we took the children back to the little hotel room we had rented. His grandmother lives in a small town and the only hotel they have does not offer any suit rooms. Jason and I were a little apprehensive about how it would go because we've never, ever shared a room with havana and didn't know if her being able to see us would be a distraction. We set up the children's pack-n-plays and then stacked our suitcases high on the bed. We put them down and then we both crawled into bed behind the suitcases hoping they would hide us from the children. That part worked... Jason and I laid perfectly still, texting each other in order to avoid talking, and neither of the children really noticed us. Jonah was very mad about his pack-n-play and kept standing up and crying extremely loud. All of a sudden havana stands up in her pack-n-play and looks over at Jonah and says, "It's okay baby. Mama, dada, vana, and baby night-night." -- Our hearts melted as we realized that she was trying to comfort baby and she was telling him what was going on... that all of us were taking a nap time. So sweet. Jonah did end up falling asleep after about 20 minutes of crying and both children ended up taking a decent little nap. That evening we spent some more time with Jason's grandmother and the hotel worked out for us to sleep in, but again, Jonah had to spend a while crying himself to sleep. Poor guy.

Sunday morning we woke up and went with Jason's grandmother to church. I think there were about six people there other than us. It was an interesting experience... their minister said in his sermon that the fall of man happened because Adam desired fellowship with Eve. Not really how it happened... oh well, Jason and I spent most of the time trying to keep our children quiet. We ate lunch with his grandmother and then took off for Orlando!

It took a few hours to get to Orlando and Havana was growing hungry. We stopped an exit or two up from where our rental house was to get a snack and buy some groceries. Well, I guess Havana was more hungry than we realized because as we were walking through the grocery store, I look down at her in the cart and realize that she had poked her finger through a yogurt package and was eating it with her fingers. Poor girl! We finally made it to our home and enjoyed a quiet evening at home. I made a pasta dinner and we gave the kids their baths. Havana stayed in a princess themed room and she was immediately captivated by it all. We have never watched a movie with her - the only shows she watches are 30 minutes in length - so she had no idea who the "princesses" were, but we told her about them and she loved playing with the figurines and sleeping with them. It was actually beautiful to see as I believe girls are made my God with natural princess desire. We want to be a princess and get naturally caught up in fairy tales... I believe this helps us find our true romance in Jesus Christ and helps us not settle for less than Christ's best in a husband. Anyway, it was fun to watch Havana get wrapped up in the magic of it all. :) Jonah's room was a pirate theme... so very boyish. He continued to struggle with his pack-n-play, but after about 20 minutes of crying he put himself to sleep and Jason and I were able to enjoy some quiet in the house.

Monday we woke up and decided to Gatorland. We had a good time walking around, feeding the gators, and playing in the splash park. It was Jonah's first Splash Park experience and he enjoyed it and Havana, who loved splash parks last summer, continued with her love and ran around like a crazy woman. That evening we spent some time at a local park and swimming in our back yard. Jason suggested we call in some Indian food since he knew it was my favorite and there was a menu on our fridge. We called in an order of 30 dollars worth of food and when we went to pick it up we had trouble finding it. We called them back to ask for directions and found out they were located in Jacksonville, FL... about 2 hours away. So, sadly, we ended up getting pizza for dinner since we were going to drive all that way for food. Jason was so sweet and kept saying he was sorry because he knew I was looking forward to the food. He's so sweet. :)

Tuesday morning we packed up and drove to a beach about an hour away. The beach has to be one of my favorite places of all times... even though going with two small kids is anything but relaxing... it was still so nice simply to "be" on the beach. Jason had packed some beach chairs for us to lay out in and neither one of us were able to sit down even for a minute. He laughed and said, "what was I thinking packing these?" Yes, going to beach is so much work, but it makes the work more fun being in sunny Florida. ;)

This was Havana's fourth trip to the beach and she has loved it each and every time... this time was no different. She enjoyed going out in the water and playing in the sand. This was Jonah's 2nd trip to the beach and he really enjoyed it. His favorite thing to do was to crawl into the waves without any awareness that he could drown. It was stressful and funny all at the same time.

We stayed at the beach for a few hours and then walked back to our car. That is when Jason and I came to the realization that we had no way to clean the sand off of ourselves, our children, or our things and neither one of us wanted to get sand in our new car. We ended up walking a few blocks and tried to use a hose at an apartment complex... however, it was not working. Then we walked a little while the other way and Jason found one, but he needed to use a pocket knife to get it to work. Ha. It was an adventure and i was nervous we would get in trouble, but it all worked out and we were able to get everyone cleaned up and a minimal amount of sand was brought into my new car. We stopped at a Cuban restaurant for lunch and enjoyed some great food and music. At lunch we asked Havana where she learned the phrase, "aw, nuts" (because she had said it a few times during the trip) and she answered with, "mommy." That made us both laugh because I have never used that phrase before.  As we were driving home, Jason slammed on the breaks and the stroller bounced against the back of Havana's seat. In an annoyed voice Havana said, "Oh, Man, Daddy." Again, we both started laughing. I have no idea where she is coming up with this stuff.

We made it home in time to put the children down for a late nap. While they were sleeping Jason and I enjoyed some time at the pool. We decided that we would try and do dinner with the children at Downtown Disney. Well, that ended up being a horrible plan. It took us 30 minutes to find a parking spot and perhaps we should have taken that as a warning. To say it was crowded is an understatement. It was packed. It took us almost two hours to walk from one end to another because it was a wall of people. We were not able to find anything to eat because the shortest waiting time we found was an hour and 45 minutes. I was hoping to stop by a certain store and buy something, but we couldn't even approach the front of the store and the children were getting impatient and so we walked back to our car and left a little disgruntled. We ended up just calling in some take out at a restaurant by our house and skipping all the original Disney plans. My cousin arrived on Tuesday night and after we put the kids to bed I went to pick her up from the airport. She flew down to help me out (Jason had a conference Wednesday-Friday) and because she can get us into Disney World for free.

Wednesday AM I woke up early and took Jason to his conference. I made it back to the rental house before anyone else was awake. Allison, my cousin, and I got the kids up and took them to the Animal Kingdom resort to try and view some animals. We didn't see too many, but it was still neat. We then went to Downtown Disney again because I wanted to buy Havana another Pluto. She picked out a Pluto the year before when we went down there and she has "loved" it so much it is very ratty. We thought we would buy her a back up one and Downtown Disney was a lot less crowded! :) After running that errand we picked Jason up, went out to lunch, and spent the afternoon at home. We, again, did the pool while the kiddos were napping. When the children woke up, we got them ready and went to have a character dinner at the Swan Hotel. We kept telling Havana about having dinner with Pluto and she was so excited. She even gave him a kiss on his nose. Jonah really enjoyed Goofy! It was a fun dinner and I loved watching Havana light up. I'm writing this re-cap almost two months later and she still talks about having dinner with Pluto! Clearly, it was a highlight.

On Thursday Jason decided to skip his conference and so we spent the morning around the house and playing in the pool. That evening we went to have dinner with friends of ours from Cuba. That evening was so much fun! Havana and Jonah enjoyed playing with our friend's children and Jason and I enjoyed the fellowship and Cuban food. As we were eating, Jonah was eating everything we put in front of him (which is normal for him) and Josue said that he would make a good missionary for that reason. Sure, it was a funny comment, but still, I really liked Josue "speaking over" Jonah like that. I believe the words we speak over our children are very important and so speaking over Jonah that he'll make a great missionary someday was a moment I won't soon forget.

Friday Jason went to his conference for the last day. Allison and the kids and i spent the morning at a petting farm and then we dropped Allison off at Disney (she had to work) and we picked Jason up. We decided to find a place to eat out for lunch and came across a greek place. It was one of those places where you sit on the floor and use your hands. It was a fairly nice place and while it wasn't super crowded, there were a few other people there. Well, our children aren't always the most quiet kids in the place and Havana was saying, "Dada" pretty loudly. We tell her she needs to whisper and so she stops yelling his name, but the very minute she stops, Jonah screams, "Dada" "Dada" -- it was so funny -- at least for us. ;) Friday night we ended up driving up to the World's Largest McDonald's playland... yes, sounds horrible to us too, but whatever you can do to keep the kiddos happy. :) After our date with the playland - Jason took me to an Indian restaurant so that I was finally able to eat my favorite food. :) 

Saturday was our last full day of vacation and was the day we chose to go to Disney World. I do think it is one of the World's Happiest Place! :) There was a show taking place at Cinderella's Castle that had all the Princesses acting in it. Havana was captivated and loved singing and dancing along with them. It was so sweet. After watching the show for a little while we made our way to our first ride. Havana's first ride last year was "Small World" but this year our first ride was "Peter Pan" -- Havana enjoyed it last year, but not this year. She was a little scared during that ride. Jonah, on the other hand, enjoyed it. Next we went to "Small World" and again Havana was scared and Jonah was happy. We ended up riding several more rides, but found out that Havana really doesn't like the indoor rides. Jason even had to take her out of one of them. However, she did great on the outdoor rollercoasters like Dumbo, the tea cups, the merry-go-round, and she even drove a car in the racers. Jonah enjoyed everything and Jason even was able to ride on Space Mountain. We stayed for several hours and it was such a fun time of meeting characters (Havana actually never got scared meeting the new people, which was nice) and enjoying family time. We went home for the children's nap and then went back for the parade. It was such a joyful day! I was thankful for my husband taking us all on vacation and for my cousin who came to help us out.

Sunday morning we woke up early and started the LONG 18 hour drive home. The drive down certainly went a lot smoother than the ride back home. Jason and I were both exhausted from staying up late packing and so we were trading off between driving and sitting in the back with our eyes closed. At one point Jason made the joke that we were the picture of what NOT to do on a road trip... Jason really had to go to the bathroom and so we pulled off and EVERYTHING was closed (even the target) and so he finally found a Krogers and he ran inside while I gathered the kiddos up to change their diapers in there. The changing table in the bathroom was full of some liquid and so i attempted to change the kids in the cart! It was a rough stop for us all. We look on our phone and we saw that there was a park up the street and so we tell the children about the fun park we're about to stop at... however, when we get there... it is a "memorial park" -- a cemetery!  So we had to keep driving even though Havana kept asking for the swings. It broke my heart. We finally did find a park, but that was more than 20 minutes up the road. We finally hit a streak of luck when we found a nice deli to eat lunch and then let the children play at a McDonald's playland. They ate well and we changed their diapers and withing 3 minutes of being in the car... they were both asleep. They only slept for about an hour, but it was the best hour of the drive. Around the time we hit Nashville, Jonah was really struggling... poor guy had a stiff neck and couldn't move his head for about 15 minutes. We let the children play at a park for about a half hour and then we grabbed some dinner and headed for the 2 hour drive home. By the time we crossed over the bridge from Kentucky to Indiana Jonah was a mess... poor guy was screaming. I took him out of the car seat and held him for the 10 minute drive from the state line to our house. As soon as I got him out he fell asleep on my shoulder. I felt so badly for him... 18 hours is awfully long for an 11 month old. Other than the stressful and long drive home... our vacation was wonderful!

It seems that every vacation I take is the best one we've ever had and this was no exception. I loved every minute of being with my family and the memories we created. It is sweet to me that Havana still remembers her Princess room and eating dinner with Pluto. I can't wait until our next vacation! :)

Easter Pageant's Final Curtain Call

April 1, 2011 was the last night of the Southeast Easter Pageant... as many of you know, that is a very significant part of mine and Jason's life. Jason's first year in the pageant was 2000 when he was 24 years old. He was cast the role of the disciple John. He had never even seen the pageant (which if you haven't, it certainly rivals a Broadway production) and honestly had no idea what he was getting into. During one of the first rehearsals someone found out he had never seen it and gave him a tape of the previous years show and Jason said he was blown away at what he was involved in.

The pageant helped to plug Jason into Southeast. He was new to the church and new to Louisville. He said that he is not sure he would have stayed at Southeast if it weren't for the pageant because of the friendships and connections it brought him. Through the pageant he was able to connect with other ministries and began life long friendships. He said that the relationship he developed with the other disciples as well as the corporate worship during the actual performances were always a "mountaintop" experience for his faith and played a large part in keeping him in the Word and accountable to living by His Standards.

My first year to see the pageant was 1999 and at the time I was not a Christian. I remember sitting there, almost entirely unmoved. I thought it was a nice production, but at the time I was bitter towards the idea of God and I remember that I didn't even cry once during the performance. I became a Christian a few months later and so when I went to see it in 2000 as a junior in high school I remember that the moment the announcer said over the loud speaker, "The story you are about to see is true..." I remember tearing up, moved before the show even started.

In 2001, Jason was again playing the role of a disciple, Thomas. I was a senior in high school and that year I went to see it several times. Each time I was wrapped up into the story and moved to tears during several different scenes. I remember during the scene where Jesus was dancing with the disciples I remember thinking how much I wanted the Lord to be the love of my life and I wanted such a close relationship that I would love to dance with Him. I remember watching the disciples and wanting to so badly to be among them... little did I know that I was watching my future husband.

That summer, I graduated high school and had decided to go to the University of Louisville for college. While it wasn't my first choice by any means, my tuition was free and my books were paid for and so I agreed to go in order to get my pre-requs out of the way before transferring to a different college (at the time i wanted nothing more than attend George Washington). I began attending Southeast on a regular basis that summer and saw in a weekend bulletin that they were looking for a stage manager for next Easter Pageant. I had always wanted to be involved so figured why not inquire. I ended up calling the new director, Shane, and having a phone interview with him. He ended up wanting to meet me in person along with the producer and an assistant director. A week later I met with Misty, Dale, and Shane. We went over my theater experience (which looking back was very limited, but as a freshman in college I thought it was something to brag about, ha). And I remember Dale ended up the interview by asking me why was I so interested in being a part of the pageant. I paused and then began to talk about how the pageant had ministered to me. I don't remember my exact words, but I do remember that I teared up and almost started crying. Dale (in typical Dale fashion) smiled, thanked for me sharing, and said he appreciated my words.

Not long after I received a phone call from Shane saying that while they did not want to use me in the Stage Manager role, they did want me on the production team. Without a clear title yet... I would be a go-between for the stage people and the directing team. I was asked to attend all the meetings. I'll never forget our first meeting, it was on 9/11/01. I remember that while we still held the meeting... we ended with prayer for our nation.

That November we held auditions for the 2002 Easter Pageant. I was there every night helping and I remember getting to know a lovely lady named Sandy. One of her first questions for me was if I was married. I responded no (I was only 19). During the men's auditions, if a man was single, she would whisper, "he's not married". I appreciated her heart, but honestly didn't think much of anything as at the time I really did like someone else. I remember Jason was talking to Sandy because they had known each other from a missions trip they had taken to Cuba. He walked away and she said, "He's dating someone, but they aren't married and he is a really great guy." I simply said, okay, and never gave it (or him) another thought.

A month later, as I was praying for my future husband (something I had done almost daily since becoming a Christian) I felt the Lord whisper into my heart that I was about to meet someone. I remember telling my accountability partner that saying, "I'm not sure what this means or what it looks like..."

A month later rehearsals were about to start. I was excited, but sadly, I had to miss the first week of rehearsals because of a death in my family.  Finally, I was able to join in and my primary role was to take blocking notes and then to read for any role of someone who was missing. On January 22, 2002, I had my first rehearsals with the disciples.

I parked my car and began walking in. I noticed a tall man in a blue sweatshirt walking in as well. We both entered through different doors and as soon as we walked into the atrium the smell of pizza was very evident. He turned to me and said, "Smells Like Dinner." I smiled and said, "I was thinking the same thing." We continued walking towards the rehearsal room, but he was farther ahead of me because his legs are longer. He opened a door, walked through, and then noticed I was coming so he held the door open. At the next set of doors, he opened the door and allowed me to walk through first. I remember thinking, "He just scored some points" as I looked at his left hand to make sure there was no wedding ring. We both began walking down a hallway and he said, "Are you heading to pageant practice?" "Yep" "What part do you play?" I told him I wasn't in the cast, but on the production team. He asked if this was my first year and I said yes to which he responded, "I didn't think I had seen you before." I stuck out my hand and said, "I'm Darby" he shook my hand and said, "I'm Jason, or Philip (the disciple he was playing that year)." I smiled and asked him if this was his first year and he said no... it was his third... he had played John and Thomas before... I remember he said, "12 disciples in 12 years is my plan." With that we were both arrived at rehearsal where we were going to blocking the Last Supper.

That night there was one disciple missing, so for timing reasons, I stood in for that person and just so happened to be seated next to Jason. I observed him as interacted with the other men and while I can't explain it, I simply knew that I was going to marry him. He was created for me. Normally, I would always stay after rehearsals and meet with the directors, but tonight I quickly gathered my things and said I had to leave. I made sure to walk out with Jason, but allowed him to start the conversation. He asked what I did and I told him I was a student at UL for Political Science. He admitted that he was not interested in politics and he said, "it takes a special person to get into politics and I am afraid I am not him." I asked him the same question and he said that he was going to start medical school in the fall. So, of course, I threw out the fact my dad is a doctor... I mean, I had to establish some sort of common ground, ha. We arrived at our cars, said goodbye, and went on our way.

A few days later, I was going through the cast list because I wanted to find out the last name of the "Philip" I had recently met. I read, "Dugger" and I literally made an audible gasp. I had always wanted to marry someone with the last name of "D" -- okay, so if his last name had been Smith... I would have still married him, but this was such a neat thing for me that I couldn't help but become excited.

The next few nights I always enjoyed the limited, but friendly, encounters with Jason. It seemed the more I got to know him... the more there was to like. He was kind, talented, and he loved Jesus. I loved how when we would talk he would always find some way to say my name mid-sentence to make it personal. We saw each other on February 13th and he asked me if I had any Valentine's Day plans (not as a date but simply conversation) and I told him I had rehearsal. I asked him his plans and he said he was working as a Valet at Mortons Steakhouse. With that answer I assumed he was single... but I was wrong.

That Friday, the 15th, a group of us were hanging out talking after rehearsal. Jason was telling me that he was involved in the Spanish service at the church. I didn't even know there was a Spanish service, but I told him how I had felt like the Lord was wanting me to teach myself Spanish and so had been studying it since December (I had taken Russian as my language in college). He invited me to check out the worship service sometime. Then the conversation turned to summer plans and Jason mentioned starting medical school. Sandy, the woman who had known him from a mission trip, said, "So, what does that do to the wedding?" In that moment, my heart sank and I thought, "of course a man like him would be engaged." However, his response was, "Sandy, we aren't engaged." She said, "I know, but you know what I mean." Then he paused, looked down, and said, "We actually don't know what is going to happen. We are praying about that right now." It was an awkward moment. Sandy felt horrible, Jason was uncomfortable, and I was sad. Not long after Jason excused himself and then I left as well.

I remember getting into my car and starting to cry. I turned the radio on and there was Eric and Leslie Ludy (favorite authors of mine on the subject of dating) and they were talking about marriage. I remember crying and praying and saying, "Lord, if I got this all wrong... please change my heart. If I heard You correctly and Jason is my future husband, the please allow him and his girlfriend to break up."

About a week later, my prayer was answered as Jason and his then girlfriend broke up. I was excited, but tried my best not to show it. I kept my distance and keep allowing him to start up the conversations... he did. And our friendship flourished during the next few months of the Easter Pageant and seeing each other often at church.

Aside from Jason, I met so many other people as well... people who are still my close friends today. Women who I learned so much from with regards to what it means to be a Godly woman and wife. And my first pageant experience became for me what the previous years had already been for Jason. It was a mountain top experience, but one that also carried through in new friendships that have lasted for years. The people I have met through the pageant have been nothing short of amazing.

Each night before performing, we would gather as a cast and simply worship. This quickly became some of my favorite times. And each following year it continued to be a highlight of the entire experience. Here we were asking God to do an incredible work through us.

I continued to be on the production team 2003-2006. Jason did not come back 2003-2005 because of his medical school responsibilities, but each year was equally as amazing as that first year in 2002. I met people who spurred me on towards Christ. I worshiped alongside people who love the Lord with all their hearts... and  I was able to have a front row seat in telling the story of Christ. I'm pretty sure a majority of the people who attended our wedding were friends from the pageant... such an incredible chapter in my life.

In 2006 Jason and I had been married for a year and he was in his last year of medical school. We were pretty sure we could both be involved  in that year's pageant and so we were. He was a disciple (Andrew) and I was again on the production team. Being a part of the pageant together as a married couple was a highlight for us.

Jason and I moved away after the pageant in 2006 and I tried to ignore the fact that most of my friends were taking part of the new show (The Passion) in 2008 and 2009...  I simply wanted to ignore it because I felt so left out. How I wished we could be alongside my dear friends again. Little did I know the Lord was going to provide Jason and I with the ability to be a part again when He called us back to the Louisville area in the summer of 2010.

Shortly after moving back, we were told that the Pageant was going to come back for one more year... and then it would be gone forever. Jason and I looked at each other and knew we couldn't miss out. We were married with two children and Jason had crazy hours at a hospital 2 hours north of the church... it didn't really make sense for us to do it, but we couldn't say no. It had simply meant so much to both of us for so many reasons that we couldn't be this close and not participate. We were unsure how things would look... we both took on much smaller roles than we had ever had in the past, but it was all we could afford between Jason's work and our children... at first we wondered if we would struggle with being only being used in a very small capacity, but we quickly realized that there was no way we could have done more and there was no where else we would have rather been. 

Jason was not a disciple this year, but he was still in the disciples' dressing room. And even though I wasn't on the production team I still was able to carry on some of my backstage traditions such as "watering the disciples" and cooking dinner for them each night. And the nightly worship was still there... each night I was able to hold hands with my husband and sing to my King.

On the last night of pageant, we sang "Jesus Paid it All" and during the line, "Oh Praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead." I couldn't help but become overwhelmed as my mind went back to 2002 where I had met Jason, through 2003 when the pageant friends rallied behind me during my MS diagnosis, 2004 when I joined pageant friends who started studying the Proverbs 31 woman, 2005 as they supported me during my first year of marriage, and in 2006 as they all said a heartfelt farewell as we moved away. I thought about what  my life would have been if I had never been in the pageant... I most likely would not have remained at Southeast and wouldn't have met Jason... my life would have been void so many amazing people.

In 2007, shortly after our first miscarriage, I remember that song (Jesus Paid it All) was very impactful in my life because I was going through a very deep depression and the only thing I had was Jesus... He truly raised my life up from the dead. I was dead to the world, I was emotionally dead, etc... He saved me, He rescued me, and He brought meaning to my suffering. I get emotional every single time that song is sung. I am brought back to that place where He was my only lifeline. So, add those emotions which are always present during that song and combine them with the closing night of the Easter Pageant... being led in worship by Greg Allen... a man who I met through the pageant and he is honestly the reason Jason and I are married... he provided us with so much counseling and direction during our courtship. He married us, I babysat his kids, and now his children are babysitting my children. Greg was leading worship and I was surrounded by friends who have encouraged and prayed for Jason and I over the years. I was standing next to women who I have learned so much from in regards to being a godly wife and mother, and I was holding hands with the love of my life... the answer to all my prayers for a future husband... and the man I met at pageant 9 years earlier. There was no better way to close the show than for me to praise my Lord for all He had done in and through the Pageant... especially in my own life....

Oh Praise the One Who Paid My Debt and Raised This Life Up From the Dead.

Can't wait to see what He has planned for us next! So grateful for the years of memories and the lifelong friendships we have now thanks to the pageant!

My daughter, the Bee Charmer

We have a wooden playground in our back yard...  and it is Havana's favorite thing. That girl wants to play outside every day rain or shine. Since it has been nice weather lately I have been taking her and Jonah out there often. At first it was fun and refreshing for me. It helped to pass the time and she was able to burn a lot of her energy. Then it happened... she and I were sitting on the picnic table area talking and I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, what seems like a piece of dirt on her. Before I get a better glance, I realize that she has picked up the dirt and is holding it and that is when I notice that she is holding a huge bee. Yes, a real, live, sting you type bee. I was frozen. She looked at me with the bee in her hand and then she simply let it go. She was not stung...

Perhaps I should clarify here that I am scared of bees. If one is around I will literally run in the opposite direction usually flapping my arms in a very dramatic fashion. I can't help it... they scare me. I am even more fearful with them around my children.

So, after I gain my composure, I tell Havana that we don't touch bees and I hope that she receives the message. I mean, surely if she touches another bee it won't be so kind as to not sting her, right?!

Well, the next day, we venture outside to play and my daughter runs towards the swing set yelling, "Bee, Where are you? Bee, Where are you?" To which I reminder her that "oh no, we don't want to play with bees" which is met to her climbing back onto the picnic table and continuing to yell for the bee while patting her leg where the bee once landed. Whose child is this?! :)

In an unrelated Havana story... she has a new saying these day. "Oh, Man..." ("aw, mae" is how it sounds) which she says if she is upset or disappointed. It is quite funny. The other day she was on a walk with Jason and they passed by the tennis courts in our neighborhood... she wanted to play on them and Jason told her they could. However, as he approached he realized you needed the key card to enter (we have yet to use them) and that was at home. So he told her he was so sorry but they couldn't go in to play because they didn't have the key. Her response, "Oh Man." And since then, every time we see the tennis courts she points and says, "Oh Man."

I also don't know when she became old enough to answer my questions. She was on the couch and I couldn't see her, but I called from the kitchen asking if she wanted a snack. Normally a question like that simply brings her into the kitchen where I then put her at the kitchen table for her snack. However, all I hear from the other room is, "No" -- that's it. She doesn't enter the kitchen, she doesn't look over the couch at me... she simply carries on with whatever game she was playing with her dolls. It took me a minute to fully grasp what had happened. She is getting so big and her communication, while still lagging, is getting to a point that she can answer most of my questions. I'm so proud of her...

The Luckiest

A few years ago Jason and I were driving in the car together and he began to tell me how he had been going through a lot of his old audio tapes (yes, tapes and not cds, ha). He began to tell me about a song that he heard by Ben Folds Five called "The Luckiest" which made him think of me. He told me how the first part of the song talks about how he rarely gets anything right the first time around and it made Jason think of his dating past and how he ended up marrying me and how that made him feel like "the luckiest." It was a sweet conversation, but I really didn't think about it too much.

Well, a few weeks ago, I got into my car one night after pageant practice and my radio was not as I left it. Instead, there was a cd in it and the speakers were turned up fairly high. I listened for a while and realized that I was listening to the song "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds Five. Here are the lyrics:

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest 

Well, I'm not sure if it was my pregnancy hormones or what, but I sat there in my car and cried like a baby. My husband had taken the time to preset the cd so that I would be hearing this song. It was a random act of romance... no anniversary or Valentine's Day. It was simply something small he did, but it made me feel so loved and appreciated. He is a very romantic man and often does grand gestures, but this simple act was something I will never forget. The truth be told: I am the one who is the luckiest. 

Kiddo Update

These are always fun posts for me because it gives me the opportunity to brag about my children! :) Since I'm not a daily blogger, I often find myself thinking, "I need to remember this event or conversation and blog about it." However, my mind can't seem to retain all my stories and then I become sad that memories I thought I would always hold onto I can't even remember a week later.  To help with this, I started a new system where I would type a quick summary into my phone and that way as I type the updates, I can quickly glance over it and see any important details. :) Hopefully this will help me as I seek to journal some of my favorite memories with my children.

HAVANA: 

Havana is now a little over 28 months. She is at such a fun age right now and it is great to watch her learn how to entertain herself and use her imagination. We are actually playing games with her stuffed animals and having tea parties. Things mommies do with their "big girls."  While she does test the limits, she's also very good at accepting mommy's answer with things. A few weeks ago she was asking for a snack close to her nap time. I told her, "no snack right now, it is almost time for night-nights." Jason then interjected and said that he thought she could have a snack because she hadn't eaten much lunch. In our house Jason's opinion trumps mine and so I called out to Havana that she could have a snack. I expected to see her come running out of the playroom, but she didn't. So I walk towards it and realize that Havana is going up the stairs. As she is climbing the stairs she is saying in a sad tone, "No snack, night-night." It was a pretty endearing moment for me to see her so easily accept my answer even though she would have preferred a snack. I joined her on the stairs and told her that she could have a snack before she needed to take a nap and she looked and me and said, "No Snack. Night night." Poor girl. Don't worry, it all worked out in the end, I took her back downstairs and gave her a quick snack and then she was much happier on her way to the nap. :)

Several weeks ago I was talking to her about the baby in mommy's belly and I asked her what she wanted to name it. She looked at me and then just laughed. Apparently she thought that was a pretty funny question. Well, her answer has not changed at all over the past few weeks. I ask her daily what she would want to name the baby and she always looks at me and then begins to laugh. So apparently, she wants to name the baby, "ha ha ha."

I don't know if I wrote about it last time, but Havana is really into music and signing. In fact, we've found that when she begins to get frustrated during her speech therapy, we can take a break and sing a song and then she can refocus! She loves to dance and do signs along with the songs and it is neat to hear her actually sing. She knows all the words to the songs and even if she can't pronounce them, she does the syllables and inflections perfectly. She really loves "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." We spend at least an hour a day singing and it helps travel time in the car too!

Her speech hasn't made any huge improvements over the past month, but she always used to say "where you" for "where are you?" It was actually one of my favorite expressions because if she didn't know where I was she would say, "mama, where you?" or when looking for a toy she would say, "Bear, where you?" I thought it was cute. Well, all on her own she began to add in the word "are." She now says, fairly clearly, "Mama, Where are you?" -- any small step is something I am willing to celebrate. She is becoming very inquisitive and asking "What's that?" about everything. Of course, Jason and I are really the only ones who know what she is asking as it really sounds like "uh at" however, we've been trying to push her into saying: What. Is. That. in three distinct words. It is fun to watch her exploring the world around her.

I have been trying to be better about reading a little more throughout the day. I always seem to be in the middle of 4 books and so I've been getting better about making the children play by themselves while I sit in the same room and read my book. I can usually get in 4-5 pages without being interrupted. Anyway, I try and put the book I'm reading up on a shelf in order to keep it away from little hands. The other day, Havana ran into the living room, grabbed my book off the shelf, took it to the couch, and then patted the couch and said, "mama, read." I laughed and asked her if she wanted me to read... apparently she did because she kept patting the couch (indicating he wanted me to sit) and saying, "Mama, read."  I certainly took her up on the offer, but also thought it was pretty cute.

In our living room we have a picture of President George W. Bush and I always tell Havana about how great he is. All on her own she began to give his photo a hug. I reacted with such praise that now every time she sees the photos she gives it the biggest hug. It is sweet and I am often filled with pride when I see it. :) 

As a whole, she is doing much better in social situations. Dealing with Havana's stranger anxiety has certainly been a challenge for most of her life, but lately she has been showing a little more flexibility. I can tell she still becomes uncomfortable, but I'm happy that she is learning how to trust us and knowing that it will be okay in the end. I'm proud of her steady improvements in both her communication and her stranger anxiety. We took her to Easter Pageant rehearsal with us the other night and while she gave us the "all done" sign a lot, she began to trust us and those people who were trying to talk with her. Finally, by the end, she was playing on her own in the hallways and yelling down the hallway to me that she had made a boat (out of a box) and was driving it. Someone came up to Jason and said, "Well, if that isn't a little Darby." I smiled... so thankful for those comments when people get a chance to see the true Havana. :)

The other day Havana shocked us... for no reason at all she began calling me "mom" and Jason "dad" -- no more mama and daddy. What! She's too young for that. I laughed it off, but even now, she is having her room time and I hear her calling out into the hallway, "mom" -- guess that's her new name for me. I hope mama makes a comeback soon. :)

Havana is doing well learning the concept of taking turns. We had a friend over the other day and her friend was playing in our Cozy Coupe. Havana wanted to play in it at the same time and so I had to tell her she needed to wait until it was her turn. She responds by going into another room and playing with something else all together. When Hannah was finished playing with the car she went and told Havana that she was done. I thought, "I bet Havana's totally forgotten about it" but just as I said that she runs around the corner full speed saying, "Vana's Turn, Vana's Turn, Vana's Turn." -- it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. However, along those same lines it broke my heart to have her learn that lesson out in public. We often go to Meijers to play in the toy aisle and pass the time. There is a horse at the front of the store that Havana likes to ride (it costs a penny) and then she always like to play in the TV carts. These are carts you can rent that are in the shape of a car and have a TV inside of them. We've never actually rented the cart, but she always plays in them (pretending she's driving) before we leave. Anyway, following our normal routine, we finish riding the horse and move towards the TV carts. There is only one on the rack and there is a sign saying "Out of Order" -- as we approach a mother on her cell phone allows her two children to get into the cart. I tell Havana she has to wait her turn... assuming they were just "playing" in the cart like we do. However, this mom disregards the "Out of Order" sign and proceeds to take the cart around the store. Poor Havana, she kept trying to follow it saying, "Vana's Turn." Broke. My. Heart. 
 
JONAH:

Mister Jonah is now 10 months old. Something about his 10 month day made me reflect on how big he is getting. I'm so proud of him. He began crawling this week. It wasn't a smooth, up on all 4s crawl, but he lurched, rolled, and army crawled in order to get where he is going. He can quickly get from one side of the room to the other so I consider him completely mobile. He can push himself up into a sitting position from a laying one and he is starting to try to pull himself up on furniture, but hasn't quite made that hurdle yet. He loves when does have the chance to stand. If you help him stand, he's a happy camper. Once he learns how to pull himself up, I'm sure that is all he will be doing.

He's a great eater. He still gets a few veggies that are pureed, but other than that, he is on all table food. His favorite foods are pizza and waffles... but he does well with anything. We often laugh that you can't put it on his tray fast enough. He shovels everything into his mouth as quickly as he can. It makes me laugh, really.

He loves reading books, playing with puzzles, and opening and closing things. He loves to watch his sister and thinks she is the funniest person in the world. He is still taking 2 naps a day, although his morning one is slipping from 2 hours to an hour and a half. I'm considering dropping the morning nap soon simply because it keeps us home which during the winter wasn't a big deal, but now that the weather is getting nice, I'd like to be out and about. He continues to do well in the nursery at church and is a very flexible and carefree little boy.

He is good with his signs. He has been able to sign "Milk" for a while, but just this week he began signing "all done" and "more" without even being prompted. The other day I was feeding him his snack and once he was finished he looked at me and did the sign for more. I felt so bad because I had not packed any more for him... but I was proud of him for using his signs.

He is also getting his two top teeth coming in which will make his count up to 4. I am often shocked with how fast he is becoming a big boy. He's such a content little boy and I'm quite crazy about him. I love praying about all that the Lord has planned for him and I often ask that the Lord will help him remain sweet in a world that is very mean.

SIBLINGS:

We are entering a phase where Havana and Jonah are actually playing together. It is truly a blessing to watch them interact. Sure, sometimes it is Jonah crawling over to Havana and taking the toy out of her hand (don't worry, we correct him), but sometimes they really do "play" together. They are also talking together... they have their own little language and it is fun to watch them look at each other in the eyes and talk to each other. And the copy cat game has already begun. If Jonah sneezes, coughs, or talks... Havana is there doing the same thing. If Havana bangs her hands on the table... Jonah bangs his hands on the tray. It is fun to say, "Excuse you, Jonah" for his real sneeze and then say "Excuse you, Havana" for her fake one. It is equally fun to say, "Havana, no banging on the table" and then immediately have to say, "Jonah, no banging on the table." I am so grateful to watch them become friends.

Jonah is wanting to do everything that Havana is doing. Havana really loves the game memory and if we're playing it... he demands to play as well. I also have a memory game on my phone (which she is actually quite good at) and now Jonah is always wanting to play that game too. It is somewhat shocking how well he can navigate my iphone. It is funny to think about having to plan games we can all do together... Jonah insists he is not "too young" for anything. :) 

BABY THREE:

Well, I'm 22 weeks now. I can still manage to "stuff" myself into normal jeans, but I have pulled out the maternity ones. We had an ultrasound last week and things looked good (I guess, they didn't tell me otherwise :). We stayed strong and did not find out the gender! I'm excited for this time to experience pregnancy without knowing if it is going to be a boy or a girl. In my head I think it is a girl because this pregnancy is more like the one I had with Havana, but sometimes I get excited thinking it could, in fact, be a boy. Who knows?! :)

The name debate is going strong at our house. I think we might have settled on a boy's name. Jason has not signed off on it, but I suggested a name and he did not flat out reject it like he normally does. He paused and said, "maybe". That is the same thing he said when I first suggested Havana. So, to me, that shows potential. :) That was only a first name, but in my head I've come up with a perfect middle name to go along with it, but have yet to mention it to Jason as I don't want bring it up too much and have him decide he doesn't like it. But, I'm fairly certain, we have at least the first name picked out for a boy.

If this baby is a girl... no clue. :)

I'm still feeling good... occasionally I'll bend the wrong way and think, "Yikes, that is uncomfortable" but for the most part this is still the easiest pregnancy I've had. For the longest time all I could think about was a blooming onion from Outback, Indian food, and chocolate milk shakes.  While those still sound good, this baby now really likes Greek food. I've had Greek food twice this week and for about 24 hours after eating it the baby is super active and doing flips in the belly. I love feeling it so much because other than on a Greek food high it doesn't seem to move much. :)

The other day I was helping Havana walk down the stairs (no more going down on her bottom, she's a big girl now) and so I was holding her hand. In my other arm was Jonah. I look down at my belly and my eyes well up with tears. I am so blessed to have these children and be their mommy. There is no greater job or ministry and I am grateful for each and every day of my life as a stay at home mom. 

An Important lesson for this Mommy!

Jason and I have talked off and on about entering into full time ministry as long as we've known each other. It was something we talked about more often before the children, but we have mentioned it since. Jason is fluent in Spanish and so when we discuss which country the Lord might be calling us to, we toss around different countries in Latin America that might serve as our future home.

However, in recent months, the Lord has been impressing upon my heart Muslim nations. To be honest, I'm not sure why because I don't know much about the Muslim faith, but the passion is there. I have shared that with Jason and his response is that we should pray about it. As I think  (not pray) about it... I can picture myself moving there tomorrow, but I can't imagine taking Havana and Jonah. I focus more on Havana in those moments... thinking of what her life would look like and how it might be in danger and I think, "nope, I can't take Havana there." Then I realize that isn't that what God did for us? Didn't he send His Son to die for us and yet I'm not willing to move my daughter somewhere so more people can learn about Him?

I know that is true, but at the same time... it didn't change my mind. However, recently, I was talking to some people at church about this and they pointed out that I kept referring to Havana as "my daughter" -- they pointed out that really she is His daughter. Wow. She is God's daughter.

As I've stated before, Jason and I don't believe in contraception... we believe every life is special and a gift. I have always viewed my children as gifts to us from the Lord, but I have failed to view them as the Lord's. What a paradigm shift. How differently would I view overseas missions if I didn't view my children as "my children" but rather "God's children." They were His before they ever were mine. He knows what He is doing...

Driving home that night I was thinking about it a lot. These guys I were talking to also pointed out to me that there are Spanish-speaking Muslim regions in North Africa... putting Jason's and mine passions together. The thoughts were interesting and I was simply speechless. I finally turn on the radio and Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Yours" came on...  here are the lyrics:

I walk the streets of London
and notice in the faces passing by
something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry
Where is the hope for London
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
as I’m reminded every street in London is Yours

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
and they’re waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear children’s voices singing
of a God who heals and rescues and restores
and I’m reminded that every child in Africa is Yours

It’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
and it’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
You’re the maker and keeper, Father and ruler of everything
It’s all Yours

I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I brush by the beggar’s hand and the wealthy man
and everywhere I look I realize
Just like the streets of London
for every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation, this is our Father’s world

It’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
and it’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
You’re the maker and keeper, Father and ruler of everything

You’re the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords

I’ve walked the valley of death’s shadow
So deep and dark that I could barely breathe
I’ve had to let go of more than I could bear
And questioned everything that I believe
But still even here
in this great darkness
A comfort and hope come breaking through
As I can say in life or death
God we belong to you.

It’s all Yours, God
It’s all Yours, God
It’s all Yours, God
It’s all Yours, God

The glory is Yours, God
All the honor is Yours, God
The power is Yours, God

The glory is Yours, God 

So, there I was, raising my hands and singling loudly that everything is Gods... everything... including all my children. I came home and told Jason about my conversation and the lesson I learned. I'm not saying the Lord is calling us to full time missions right now, but I believe He is preparing us for... something. I'm not sure what that something is... perhaps moving overseas, but not necessarily. I believe He is teaching us that our children are His children for something... only time will tell what, but I'm confident the lesson we are learning now will play a role in our future.

Quick Post

Havana has been doing a few things that I want to write down before I forget them:

I never realized how much I used the nickname "baby" until I realize that Havana adds it on to everything! Every time she says thank you it is, "Thank You, Baby." When reading a book I made the "ach-oo" sound and she says, "achoo, baby" -- yes, if she says a phrase it is repeated with the tag line of baby. Not sure why, but it is really cute.

She also loves to pray. This, of course, melts my heart. During meal time she will want us to pray several times and so I have started asked her what she wants us to pray for. It is neat to hear her answers. Sometimes it is for a person or place, but for the most part she wants to pray about songs and shows she likes. :) It has carried over into other times now too. After I go in her room to wake her up - she likes to play in her bed for a while. So I stand over her crib as she reads books and plays with her many dolls. Her new thing is to have her dolls pray. She'll put their hands together and I'll say, "what is (insert doll's name) praying about?" She'll think for a minute and then answer (usually with the same "wheels on the bus or similar answer) and so we'll have the doll pray to learn all the words to the wheels on the bus. It is special to me that she is already developing a heart of prayer.

Her imagination is beginning to show daily in her actions... she loves to play with her dolls and stuffed animals - she pretends to feed and bathe them. She pretends they go to sleep and wake up. We have tea parties and slumber parties and gosh, she is so much fun! :)

She has become rather good at stalling when it comes to bedtime. Her classic tricks are saying that she went potty or that she wants a snack. Neither of those keeps me from going on with the bedtime routine. So, being the creative little girl that she is, she decided that giving mommy great big hugs is the way to prolong bedtime. And. It. Works. I can't help it, but when she wraps her arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulders I cannot pull her away. Instead I just hold her back, tell her how much I love her, and then kiss her. It prolongs bedtime, but I think some snuggles with a girl who rarely sits still is a good excuse. Now, she is learning that if I ask her to put her toys away and she doesn't want to it that she can run and give me a hug and it gives her a few extra minutes before she has to obey. I'm a sucker for snuggles! :)

Havana has also developed a great interest in my wedding ring. I simply love it and think it is so cute. Girls are born with a heart for fairy tales and love stories and I love sharing ours with her. She'll point to it and say, "mama's wing" and I will tell her how her daddy gave it to me and how he asked me to marry him and I said yes. So when asking her about the story I'll say, "And who gave mommy that ring?" She'll answer, "gaggy" Then I ask, "what did mommy say to daddy when he gave her the ring?" I am meaning, Yes, but she answers with, "thank you, gaggy." I always laugh and then tell her that I most likely did thank him too. :) She is so sweet and polite. :) 

Jonah is now 9 months old and he's very close to crawling. He will lean forward and do a lurch sort of thing - which is closer to crawling than Havana was at that age. I think before long he'll be crawling and keeping up with Havana.

He's becoming very vocal and making fun sounds, but he's also working on his signs. I think he did the sign for milk last night while drinking his bottle, but I'm not positive it was intentional, but I went with it. :)

My children are blessings and I love every moment with them! I couldn't ask for a better job than being Jason's wife and a mommy to his kiddos. I am blessed. :)