Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Author moment...
Today I had a humbling and neat "author moment." I took the kids to the doctors office (I'll write more about that in another post) and when I walked into the room this is what I saw on the billboard of the room:
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Facebook Free
About two weeks ago, in a moment of desperation, I deleted my facebook account. It seemed like a rash decision to others, but for me, it was a long time coming. The Lord had been after my heart for a long time and kept asking me to give Him facebook. I couldn't. I wouldn't. It sounds silly... we're talking about facebook here.. but I had allowed it to become and idol in my life.
Something I've always struggled with is being a "people pleaser" -- other's opinions of me is something I'm constantly battling. Over the summer I did a Bible Study called "No Other Gods" where the author called us to truly put to death in idols in our lives... along with the study I read an incredible book called "When People are Big and God is Small" in which it talks about how we often fear man, but not God. To say I was called to the carpet while reading that book would be an understatement. I have so often worried if something I did or said made someone like me more or less. It's sad really the hold this idol has in my life. I am currently taking actions to put it to death, but it honestly requires me putting it to death over and over again each day.
So, anyway, facebook falls into that category. I have had facebook since 2005 and had been a huge promoter of it. Quickly after meeting someone I will become their "facebook friend" and my total number of friends was well over 1,000. I hardly turned down a friend request even if I didn't really know how I knew the person. That kind of makes me giggle now to think about it, but it was the truth. I enjoyed being "friends" with everyone. To be fair, for the four years we lived in Indy I kept in great contact with my Louisville friends because of Facebook which made our move back down here seemless... so for things like that, I am extremely grateful for facebook.
But, as I was trying to overcome this overwhelming desire to be cherished by everyone... I let facebook take over. If I posted a status that got a lot of "likes" I was on cloud nine. If I got one that received no likes - I would go back and delete it. If something I said made someone else disagree I shuttered. I don't mind sharing my opinion or standing up for the truth, but I dreaded facebook fights... and we all know they exist. Crazyness.
Then there were those unhealthy boundaries. I was friends with men and women I didn't "need" to be friends with. People who I hoped would see how great my life turned out or who I would compare my life to which is never healthy.
The Lord kept asking me to give up facebook. I kept telling Him I couldn't for whatever reason: I wanted to sell books, I was ministering to people, and I was using it to bring HIM Glory. Ha. To be fair, in some ways I was. I would get emails from non-Christians when things in their lives were challenging, I did sell lots of books, and I do hope that my statuses were glorifying of Christ. But those good things were not the reasons I wouldn't give facebook up. I felt secure in those 1,000+ friends. Idol.
I told God I would take a break... a fast... because you know, that way I am giving God what He wants but it doesn't cost me as much as actually deleting my facebook account. Well, that lasted a day. Then I signed back and found it to be empty... so on a whim, I deleted it. And in that moment I was filled with instant peace. Instant. I was finally walking in obedience.
In the first few days following I felt like I was going through a break up. I didn't know what to do in my spare time and I felt lonely. I pushed through that for a few days and then it was as if scales had fallen off of my eyes and I began to see how destructive it had become in my life. That sounds strange, I know, but I thought about how intentional I have to be with my relationships now. I have to actually call/text/email friends instead of simply "liking" their status. I have to ask friends to text me photos of their children instead of looking on facebook. I have to be intentional... and I like that. I like how that protects Jason's and my marriage. My mind. My comparative thoughts.
Being without facebook has helped me plug into my family more. Instead of taking picture of my children and thinking "oh that is a cute one, I'll need to post that for sure" I take the picture and get to treasure it for the sake of my children. My mind is in the moment with them and not on my news feed or wondering who had commented on my most recent post. And I treasure that. In the days following my deleting the account I was often shocked at how often I thought something and then my next thought, "that should be my status." Really? My thinking had become that.
That's when it hit me. I had been living for an audience of more than One. Instead of sharing my thoughts with the Creator... I was sharing them with facebook. I mean does anyone really care if I "checked into" the zoo? Seriously? Why did I think they would care? Why would I care? What a distraction from My Lord - all the thoughts about what to write, where to check in, what photo to post and most of the time I didn't even realize I was thinking about it that much, but being without for two weeks now I'm realizing just how much energy I did spend thinking about all that. I tried to justify it for a while saying it was like an "online" journal for my children, but that's what I want this blog to be... that is what this blog was set up to be... while facebook was created for me and made my life all about.. me.
I created a page for my book about a year ago and I try to update that page often with a Bible verse for us to pray for our husbands. I kept that page up and deleted my personal facebook page, but I'm realizing I don't even have a desire to update that page anymore. I'm praying about where to go from here with that web page.
Last week I got a card in the mail from someone saying she loved staying caught up on my life through facebook... then today at church someone stopped me and told me she missed me on facebook because my posts were always so positive... "are you still off?" she asked. I told her I was. I won't lie - when people say they miss me on there it makes me miss it. Makes me want to jump right back on, but as I sit before the Lord knowing that facebook free is where He wants me... I realize that walking in obedience to Him is better than any temporary high that facebook could give me.
Something I've always struggled with is being a "people pleaser" -- other's opinions of me is something I'm constantly battling. Over the summer I did a Bible Study called "No Other Gods" where the author called us to truly put to death in idols in our lives... along with the study I read an incredible book called "When People are Big and God is Small" in which it talks about how we often fear man, but not God. To say I was called to the carpet while reading that book would be an understatement. I have so often worried if something I did or said made someone like me more or less. It's sad really the hold this idol has in my life. I am currently taking actions to put it to death, but it honestly requires me putting it to death over and over again each day.
So, anyway, facebook falls into that category. I have had facebook since 2005 and had been a huge promoter of it. Quickly after meeting someone I will become their "facebook friend" and my total number of friends was well over 1,000. I hardly turned down a friend request even if I didn't really know how I knew the person. That kind of makes me giggle now to think about it, but it was the truth. I enjoyed being "friends" with everyone. To be fair, for the four years we lived in Indy I kept in great contact with my Louisville friends because of Facebook which made our move back down here seemless... so for things like that, I am extremely grateful for facebook.
But, as I was trying to overcome this overwhelming desire to be cherished by everyone... I let facebook take over. If I posted a status that got a lot of "likes" I was on cloud nine. If I got one that received no likes - I would go back and delete it. If something I said made someone else disagree I shuttered. I don't mind sharing my opinion or standing up for the truth, but I dreaded facebook fights... and we all know they exist. Crazyness.
Then there were those unhealthy boundaries. I was friends with men and women I didn't "need" to be friends with. People who I hoped would see how great my life turned out or who I would compare my life to which is never healthy.
The Lord kept asking me to give up facebook. I kept telling Him I couldn't for whatever reason: I wanted to sell books, I was ministering to people, and I was using it to bring HIM Glory. Ha. To be fair, in some ways I was. I would get emails from non-Christians when things in their lives were challenging, I did sell lots of books, and I do hope that my statuses were glorifying of Christ. But those good things were not the reasons I wouldn't give facebook up. I felt secure in those 1,000+ friends. Idol.
I told God I would take a break... a fast... because you know, that way I am giving God what He wants but it doesn't cost me as much as actually deleting my facebook account. Well, that lasted a day. Then I signed back and found it to be empty... so on a whim, I deleted it. And in that moment I was filled with instant peace. Instant. I was finally walking in obedience.
In the first few days following I felt like I was going through a break up. I didn't know what to do in my spare time and I felt lonely. I pushed through that for a few days and then it was as if scales had fallen off of my eyes and I began to see how destructive it had become in my life. That sounds strange, I know, but I thought about how intentional I have to be with my relationships now. I have to actually call/text/email friends instead of simply "liking" their status. I have to ask friends to text me photos of their children instead of looking on facebook. I have to be intentional... and I like that. I like how that protects Jason's and my marriage. My mind. My comparative thoughts.
Being without facebook has helped me plug into my family more. Instead of taking picture of my children and thinking "oh that is a cute one, I'll need to post that for sure" I take the picture and get to treasure it for the sake of my children. My mind is in the moment with them and not on my news feed or wondering who had commented on my most recent post. And I treasure that. In the days following my deleting the account I was often shocked at how often I thought something and then my next thought, "that should be my status." Really? My thinking had become that.
That's when it hit me. I had been living for an audience of more than One. Instead of sharing my thoughts with the Creator... I was sharing them with facebook. I mean does anyone really care if I "checked into" the zoo? Seriously? Why did I think they would care? Why would I care? What a distraction from My Lord - all the thoughts about what to write, where to check in, what photo to post and most of the time I didn't even realize I was thinking about it that much, but being without for two weeks now I'm realizing just how much energy I did spend thinking about all that. I tried to justify it for a while saying it was like an "online" journal for my children, but that's what I want this blog to be... that is what this blog was set up to be... while facebook was created for me and made my life all about.. me.
I created a page for my book about a year ago and I try to update that page often with a Bible verse for us to pray for our husbands. I kept that page up and deleted my personal facebook page, but I'm realizing I don't even have a desire to update that page anymore. I'm praying about where to go from here with that web page.
Last week I got a card in the mail from someone saying she loved staying caught up on my life through facebook... then today at church someone stopped me and told me she missed me on facebook because my posts were always so positive... "are you still off?" she asked. I told her I was. I won't lie - when people say they miss me on there it makes me miss it. Makes me want to jump right back on, but as I sit before the Lord knowing that facebook free is where He wants me... I realize that walking in obedience to Him is better than any temporary high that facebook could give me.
40 Days of Life... Where does "pro-life" begin?
The other day was the last day of the 40 Days for Life Campaign and I participated again. If you're pro-life then I highly encourage you to participate in the campaign because it is always so moving. It seems like the more children I have the more I am moved by the whole experience. My heart truly breaks for all the lives lost to abortion every day.
This year my heart has been heavy for those seeking abortions... much heavier than in the years past. One afternoon I spent nap time looking at all the web sites for abortion services... I was so sad to read the details of the "procedures" and the "testimonies" - I spent a long time praying for those couples who had written in. Then my heart became burdened for the workers. For the doctors, nurses, and receptionists at such places. That is when I had an idea...
There is a ministry here in Louisville called Scarlet's Hope. It is building relationships with people who work in the Adult Entertainment Industry. Their point: befriend these people, love them where they are, share Jesus with them over time. I Love it. What if we started a ministry like that for people who perform abortions? I mean, think about it, I'm sure they assume all Christians want to do is bomb their cars (sad)... why not show them the love of Christ? Love them. Befriend them. Over time, share Christ's love with them... allow THAT to change their hearts and overtime they will remove themselves from the industry. I kept thinking, "if no one is willing to perform abortions... perhaps overturning Roe v. Wade won't be nearly as important because there will be less doctors/nurses/etc. who are willing to work in those clinics." Just a thought and a prayer, but for the first time my prayers have gravitated toward the workers... begging for them to fall in love with Jesus and embrace His teaching on the sanctity of life.
Now, this next section of the blog post is one that will strike a cord with many. Lots will passionately disagree and possibly get upset. That happened about a year ago when a wrote a similar blog post. However, I wrote that post at three in the morning and, looking back, I don't feel like I was very clear. The intended audience was Pro-Lifers... if you're pro-choice or if you don't believe life begins at conception... well, then you'll totally disagree and that's fine. I'm not writing this trying to change you of your view, but to enlighten people who ARE Pro-Life the risks that come with medical contraception. Here me out...
I have lots of friends who are on "the pill" -- these lovely ladies go to church, are pro-life, believe begins life begins at conception, etc. That's great, but sadly, many of these women don't know HOW the Pill works. Yes, to be fair, the pill's number one way of working is to prevent ovulation... prevent ovulation thus prevent conception... however, most have a "back up" way of working which changes the lining of your uterus so that a fertilized egg (a baby if you believe life begins at conception) won't implant... thus, killing the baby. Sounds harsh I know... and believe me, most of the people I know on the pill would never want to kill a baby. Ever. So it makes me sad so many women are simply uninformed. Years ago I had a friend tell me about all of this... Jason and I did our own research and praying and came to the conclusion that if it is even the smallest, tiniest chance that a fertilized egg would fail to implant because of something we were talking... then we wouldn't take it. Simple as that. When it comes to life I would much rather err on the side of protecting it. Sure, women get pregnant on the pill... which yes, shows that it doesn't ALWAYS prevent the fertilized egg from implanting, but that also shows that it doesn't always prevent the conception in the first place. You never know how your body will respond or how the pill will change the lining of your uterus. Again, with something so sacred as life - why risk it? There are other, non-medical, ways to prevent pregnancy that don't run the risk of killing a baby.
Over the past several months I was able to have several conversations with dear friends who mentioned to me that their form of birth control was the IUD. I prayed about approaching them about this for quite a while and finally God gave me the courage and the words to say to these ladies. I'm thrilled that they all had such amazing hearts about the whole thing. IUDs are different... they don't even try to prevent the conception, but its primary function is to change the lining of the uterus in order to prevent the implantation. I did some research and found out that even Focus on the Family has spoken out against IUDs as an "acceptable" form of birth control. Here are some of my favorite articles:
Loved this one written by a doctor on the Focus on the Family medical panel.
Also, this one by Albert Mohler.
Love this quote from this article from Christianity Today: "being pro-life isn't only about opposing surgical abortion. It's about opening ourselves to the risk and mess and uncertainty that accompany any God-sent guest we allow into our lives. The least we can do is leave our doors unlocked. Like Rahab did for the spies. Like Mary did for Jesus."
I have so many more articles I could post. I usually do research on this topic if I ever get any spare time... and almost daily I'm begging God to start a revival in the Protestant Church that is anti-medical contraception. I promote other forms of "family planning" that don't run even the tiniest risk of stamping out a life. I think that is where true pro-life living really begins.
This year my heart has been heavy for those seeking abortions... much heavier than in the years past. One afternoon I spent nap time looking at all the web sites for abortion services... I was so sad to read the details of the "procedures" and the "testimonies" - I spent a long time praying for those couples who had written in. Then my heart became burdened for the workers. For the doctors, nurses, and receptionists at such places. That is when I had an idea...
There is a ministry here in Louisville called Scarlet's Hope. It is building relationships with people who work in the Adult Entertainment Industry. Their point: befriend these people, love them where they are, share Jesus with them over time. I Love it. What if we started a ministry like that for people who perform abortions? I mean, think about it, I'm sure they assume all Christians want to do is bomb their cars (sad)... why not show them the love of Christ? Love them. Befriend them. Over time, share Christ's love with them... allow THAT to change their hearts and overtime they will remove themselves from the industry. I kept thinking, "if no one is willing to perform abortions... perhaps overturning Roe v. Wade won't be nearly as important because there will be less doctors/nurses/etc. who are willing to work in those clinics." Just a thought and a prayer, but for the first time my prayers have gravitated toward the workers... begging for them to fall in love with Jesus and embrace His teaching on the sanctity of life.
Now, this next section of the blog post is one that will strike a cord with many. Lots will passionately disagree and possibly get upset. That happened about a year ago when a wrote a similar blog post. However, I wrote that post at three in the morning and, looking back, I don't feel like I was very clear. The intended audience was Pro-Lifers... if you're pro-choice or if you don't believe life begins at conception... well, then you'll totally disagree and that's fine. I'm not writing this trying to change you of your view, but to enlighten people who ARE Pro-Life the risks that come with medical contraception. Here me out...
I have lots of friends who are on "the pill" -- these lovely ladies go to church, are pro-life, believe begins life begins at conception, etc. That's great, but sadly, many of these women don't know HOW the Pill works. Yes, to be fair, the pill's number one way of working is to prevent ovulation... prevent ovulation thus prevent conception... however, most have a "back up" way of working which changes the lining of your uterus so that a fertilized egg (a baby if you believe life begins at conception) won't implant... thus, killing the baby. Sounds harsh I know... and believe me, most of the people I know on the pill would never want to kill a baby. Ever. So it makes me sad so many women are simply uninformed. Years ago I had a friend tell me about all of this... Jason and I did our own research and praying and came to the conclusion that if it is even the smallest, tiniest chance that a fertilized egg would fail to implant because of something we were talking... then we wouldn't take it. Simple as that. When it comes to life I would much rather err on the side of protecting it. Sure, women get pregnant on the pill... which yes, shows that it doesn't ALWAYS prevent the fertilized egg from implanting, but that also shows that it doesn't always prevent the conception in the first place. You never know how your body will respond or how the pill will change the lining of your uterus. Again, with something so sacred as life - why risk it? There are other, non-medical, ways to prevent pregnancy that don't run the risk of killing a baby.
Over the past several months I was able to have several conversations with dear friends who mentioned to me that their form of birth control was the IUD. I prayed about approaching them about this for quite a while and finally God gave me the courage and the words to say to these ladies. I'm thrilled that they all had such amazing hearts about the whole thing. IUDs are different... they don't even try to prevent the conception, but its primary function is to change the lining of the uterus in order to prevent the implantation. I did some research and found out that even Focus on the Family has spoken out against IUDs as an "acceptable" form of birth control. Here are some of my favorite articles:
Loved this one written by a doctor on the Focus on the Family medical panel.
Also, this one by Albert Mohler.
Love this quote from this article from Christianity Today: "being pro-life isn't only about opposing surgical abortion. It's about opening ourselves to the risk and mess and uncertainty that accompany any God-sent guest we allow into our lives. The least we can do is leave our doors unlocked. Like Rahab did for the spies. Like Mary did for Jesus."
I have so many more articles I could post. I usually do research on this topic if I ever get any spare time... and almost daily I'm begging God to start a revival in the Protestant Church that is anti-medical contraception. I promote other forms of "family planning" that don't run even the tiniest risk of stamping out a life. I think that is where true pro-life living really begins.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Date Night!!!
Went on a date with the love of my life tonight... And my brother! :) we went to see Brian Regan the comedian!!! Good show, great laughs, and an overall refreshed feeling! Can't wait to squeeze my kiddos in the morning, but enjoyed the night away from the bedtime routine! 
Monday, October 31, 2011
Havana's Birthday Festival!
At the Dugger house we don't just do birthdays... we do birthday festivals. Several day celebrations! On October 4th our little playgroup celebrated all the birthdays in October... Havana was the only one and so everyone sang happy birthday to her. It took her a minute to realize they were all singing to her, but then she broke out in a huge smile. I loved it.
On October 17th we had her "friend" birthday party. It was at a local bakery. We could have up to 10 kids (including Havana) and the children were able to decorate cookies and cupcakes and then ate cake and ice cream.. sang songs.. etc. It was cute and sweet and special. Havana enjoyed it and loved having people sing her Happy Birthday again.
Then, October 28th was her third birthday. Jason and I woke her up by singing happy birthday to her. We spent the morning at playgroup that morning and then to Chuck-E-Cheese. When she ran into playgroup she yelled, "It's My Birthday!" After nap time we went to toys R us to get her a small birthday gift from us. That night we sang her happy birthday and let her eat some ice cream!
The next day, the 29th, we had her family party. My parents and Jason's mom came down and it was a simple "Princess Party" complete with a princess themed cake. Havana again enjoy it and kept exclaiming, "It's my birthday party." This really was the first year she grasped and took ownership of her special day and that warmed my heart.
Jonah and Selah were troopers during the festival. I'm glad they are still a little young to experience any jealousy. I remember struggling with other's birthdays growing up and being that mommy who never wants my kids to have a hurt feeling I'm dreading that time they have trouble celebrating with their sibling, but thankfully I can make that into a teachable moment about sharing in other's joy.
It's hard to believe my oldest is three! I watch her as she is becoming a little girl: using her imagination, loving to play dress up, etc. and I think, "was it really three years ago you were a tiny newborn baby?" Time is flying... can someone please slow it down?! Ha.
On October 17th we had her "friend" birthday party. It was at a local bakery. We could have up to 10 kids (including Havana) and the children were able to decorate cookies and cupcakes and then ate cake and ice cream.. sang songs.. etc. It was cute and sweet and special. Havana enjoyed it and loved having people sing her Happy Birthday again.
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| Everyone singing Happy Birthday at her friend party. |
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| sitting with her friends at her party! |
Then, October 28th was her third birthday. Jason and I woke her up by singing happy birthday to her. We spent the morning at playgroup that morning and then to Chuck-E-Cheese. When she ran into playgroup she yelled, "It's My Birthday!" After nap time we went to toys R us to get her a small birthday gift from us. That night we sang her happy birthday and let her eat some ice cream!
The next day, the 29th, we had her family party. My parents and Jason's mom came down and it was a simple "Princess Party" complete with a princess themed cake. Havana again enjoy it and kept exclaiming, "It's my birthday party." This really was the first year she grasped and took ownership of her special day and that warmed my heart.
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| Princess Cake!!!! |
Jonah and Selah were troopers during the festival. I'm glad they are still a little young to experience any jealousy. I remember struggling with other's birthdays growing up and being that mommy who never wants my kids to have a hurt feeling I'm dreading that time they have trouble celebrating with their sibling, but thankfully I can make that into a teachable moment about sharing in other's joy.
It's hard to believe my oldest is three! I watch her as she is becoming a little girl: using her imagination, loving to play dress up, etc. and I think, "was it really three years ago you were a tiny newborn baby?" Time is flying... can someone please slow it down?! Ha.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Birthday Eve
Dear Havana, ,
Tomorrow you turn three. Three! I can't believe it. You are becoming such a beautiful girl - on the inside and the out. I spent a few minutes tonight just watching you on the video monitor after we put you to bed. You were laying with all your stuffed animals and you said, "Hello, my name is Havana. Hello, my name is Baby Jonah. Hello, my name is Baby Selah. ... Black/Brown/White/Pink/Red (all while doing the signs). ... God Loves Me. ... Black/Brown." Then you broke out in the veggie tales theme song. What a precious snap shot for me to remember as you close out your second year.
I certainly would never apply the term "terrible twos" to this past year with you. You've been such an amazing joy. Watching you grow, learn, conquer your fears, and share your feelings is truly a privilege. Your curiosity is ever increasing, your laughter is contagious, your speech is precious. I delight in watching you as the "big sister" and the heart you have for your family, your church, and the Lord often leave me in tears (the good kind of tears). You are so very precious - to God, to me, to your daddy, and to this world. God is going to use you in mighty ways and I can't wait to see what gifts and talents He has instilled in you. What a fun year your threes will be. Full of new challenges, I'm sure, but all that we will discover, all that you will accomplish... so excited.
I love you so much, baby girl! You are my special Havana and I seriously look at you and am humbled the Lord answered our prayers for a baby through YOU. He clearly ordained YOU to be the oldest child in our home. You are a wonderful daughter and an amazing big sister. Please know I cherish every day with you.
All my Love,
your mommy.
Tomorrow you turn three. Three! I can't believe it. You are becoming such a beautiful girl - on the inside and the out. I spent a few minutes tonight just watching you on the video monitor after we put you to bed. You were laying with all your stuffed animals and you said, "Hello, my name is Havana. Hello, my name is Baby Jonah. Hello, my name is Baby Selah. ... Black/Brown/White/Pink/Red (all while doing the signs). ... God Loves Me. ... Black/Brown." Then you broke out in the veggie tales theme song. What a precious snap shot for me to remember as you close out your second year.
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| Riding a pony at the Jeff Fest - this photo ended up in the paper and in a magazine! |
I certainly would never apply the term "terrible twos" to this past year with you. You've been such an amazing joy. Watching you grow, learn, conquer your fears, and share your feelings is truly a privilege. Your curiosity is ever increasing, your laughter is contagious, your speech is precious. I delight in watching you as the "big sister" and the heart you have for your family, your church, and the Lord often leave me in tears (the good kind of tears). You are so very precious - to God, to me, to your daddy, and to this world. God is going to use you in mighty ways and I can't wait to see what gifts and talents He has instilled in you. What a fun year your threes will be. Full of new challenges, I'm sure, but all that we will discover, all that you will accomplish... so excited.
I love you so much, baby girl! You are my special Havana and I seriously look at you and am humbled the Lord answered our prayers for a baby through YOU. He clearly ordained YOU to be the oldest child in our home. You are a wonderful daughter and an amazing big sister. Please know I cherish every day with you.
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| Enjoying your birthday party! |
All my Love,
your mommy.
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