Worn Down...

I don't know why, but for the past two days I have been struggling. It could be the fact that there is still no AC in our house and while over the weekend we were blessed with a few beautiful days -- it has returned again to the 90 degree heat and we are all sleeping in the living room. One or two days, sure that is adventure, three weeks... well, not so much. I feel so sorry for my kiddos, but they are doing really well with being flexible. I am not. Yesterday I kept praying for grace because I found myself wanting to snap at everyone.

I've been struggling with feeding Jonah too. He has slowed down a lot with his weight gain, which is fine, but I want to make sure he is still getting enough to eat. I've noticed over the past week that my milk supply is drying up. This didn't happen with Havana. I weaned her on my own by the time she was 10 months, but I never "ran out" -- I'm running out with Jonah. At his feeding times, he'll eat all that is there and still want more... I don't have any more to give him. No problem, you say, just give him a bottle?! Well, he won't take one. He still refuses bottles. So, I've been feeling worn down because I'm getting worried that he isn't getting enough. We started him on rice cereal on the 4th because of how hungry he seems. He did well with it and on the 5th and 6th he ate three bowls of rice cereal (mixed with formula) a day. Today, he has refused to eat the rice cereal. I switched the type of formula i was mixing it with and so I'm not sure if that is the reason why. Not really sure why. Poor guy. I am weary...

Don't get me wrong, still love being a wife and mama... but I've been super emotional and somewhat crabby the past 24 hours. I think it is more the heat and lack of sleep (the couch is only so comfortable...) than anything else. Hopefully soon we will have a working AC or cool fall days... either one is fine with me... just as long as we can sleep in our own rooms and have full reign of the house again instead of all piling into our kitchen/living room.

In other news... Jonah rolled all the way over! Yesterday he was getting very close and I wanted to capture this moment on film. I had a camera on him all day yesterday. However, he never made it completely. This morning, about 3:30AM ... I wake up to him grunting a lot. Remember, he is sleeping on the floor and I'm on the couch. I look over, and there he is on his belly. HA! Little man rolled all the way over, but alas, I had no camera to capture the moment. I turned him back around and proudly went back to sleep. Way to go, little man! So, technically, today (the 8th) was his first day to roll over.

I have discovered (yet again) that I should never underestimate Havana! :) I was cooking dinner the other night, Jonah was sitting in his swing, and Jason was outside pulling up weeds. I had my back to Havana who was playing on the floor and then all of a sudden I hear water running. My first thought was that Jason had come inside and started washing his hands. Nope, Havana had pulled one of the kitchen chairs over to our wet bar and proceeded to climb up it, turn the water on, and wash her hands. I laughed so hard! She is so funny and she can really help herself to anything in this house - yikes! :)

She has become best friends with side walk chalk these days. Every night she wants to go out on the driveway and color. I enjoy playing with her daily. Jonah is becoming very playful himself. I am excited for the two of them to start playing together a little more. Today, we went to the zoo and Havana was driving a truck and I put Jonah in the passenger seat. I'm not sure if he enjoyed it so much, but it was fun to see them in there together.

It is funny to watch how different God made them! Havana loves adventures! She loves swings, slides, running, and anything new and exciting. She gets very excited about little things. I'm pretty sure she will love roller coasters since she loves slides and spinning and she loved all the rides at Disney World last year. She gets eager to go places and become involved in things.

Jonah, he doesn't really care where we are. We've put him in a swing and he seems pretty indifferent. Havana's first time on the swing she was squealing with delight. I think Jonah will be more cautious and even tempered (like his daddy!) but I also think that sometimes he prefers to sit in the stroller or his car seat. I took the children to "Mother Goose on the Loose" yesterday which is a singing/dancing sort of story time at a local library. Havana loves it, loves clapping, dancing, and singing. Jonah sat on my lap and didn't seem to enjoy it very much. I ended up putting him in his car seat towards then end, and once he was in there, he finally smiled and began sucking his thumb. I think he just likes to chill. Cute, content little boy.

I love seeing how God made them different. They are both such miracles. You know, it was a year ago today that we found out we were pregnant with Jonah/Jonas (his twin who we lost around the 8th week). I have prayed that perhaps we will have another opportunity to parent twins - either biological or adopted - we'll see. I remember when we found out we were pregnant I was joking with Jason that I thought it was going to be twins... and it was! I miss and love Jonas!

Please pray that I have grace with my children today. I want to show them each day about the love of God and I fear I don't do that very well when I'm worn down...